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 DETAILED CONTENTS

Preface xxiii
Abbreviations xxv
Table of Cases xxvii
Table of Primary Legislation liii
Table of Secondary Legislation lix
Table of Protocols and Guidance lxxviii
Table of European Legislation lxxxi
Table of International Treaties and Conventions lxxxii

1 INTRODUCTION 1

A THE LEGAL PROFESSION 2

B LAWYERS’ DUTIES 2
C INITIAL INSTRUCTIONS 3
D CONFIDENTIALITY AND CONFLICT OF INTEREST 5
E PRE-ACTION CORRESPONDENCE 5
F MAIN STAGES IN COURT PROCEEDINGS 6

2 FUNDING LITIGATION 10

A DUTY TO ADVISE CLIENTS ON FUNDING 10

B TRADITIONAL RETAINER 11
C LEGAL EXPENSES INSURANCE 13
D AFTER THE EVENT INSURANCE 13
E CHAMPERTY, THE INDEMNITY PRINCIPLE, AND JACKSON 14
F CONDITIONAL FEE AGREEMENT 15
G DAMAGES-BASED AGREEMENT 16
H THIRD PARTY FUNDING 16
I LEGAL AID 17
J IRRECOVERABILITY OF COSTS OF SETTING UP FUNDING 20
Key points summary 20

3 THE CIVIL COURTS 22

A COURT COMPOSITION AND ADMINISTRATION 22

B JURISDICTION 25
C HIGH COURT DIVISIONS 28
viii Detailed Contents
D SPECIALIST COURTS 29
Key points summary 31

4 OVERRIDING OBJECTIVE AND HUMAN RIGHTS 32

A SOURCES OF PROCEDURAL LAW 32

B THE OVERRIDING OBJECTIVE 35
C ACTIVE CASE MANAGEMENT 35
D INTERPRETING THE CIVIL PROCEDURE RULES 37
E APPLICATION OF THE OVERRIDING OBJECTIVE 38
F HUMAN RIGHTS 40
G PROCEDURAL ASPECTS ON RAISING HUMAN RIGHTS POINTS 45
Key points summary 47

5 PRE-ACTION PROTOCOLS 48

A PRE-ACTION PROTOCOLS 48
B CASES NOT COVERED BY PRE-ACTION PROTOCOLS 49
C PROFESSIONAL NEGLIGENCE PRE-ACTION PROTOCOL 49
D PERSONAL INJURY PROTOCOL 52
E INSTRUCTION OF EXPERTS 53
F LIMITATION DIFFICULTIES 55
G SANCTIONS FOR NON-COMPLIANCE 55
H ROAD TRAFFIC ACT 1988 56
I MOTOR INSURERS’ BUREAU 56
J PRE-ACTION PART 36 OFFERS 57
Key points summary 58

6 ISSUING AND SERVING 59

A CLAIM FORM 59
B JURISDICTIONAL ENDORSEMENTS 62
C PARTICULARS OF CLAIM 62
D SPECIALIST CLAIMS 62
E ISSUING A CLAIM FORM 65
F SERVICE 66
G SERVICE OF THE CLAIM FORM 67
H DEEMED DATE OF SERVICE OF THE CLAIM FORM 78
I SERVICE OF DOCUMENTS OTHER THAN A CLAIM FORM 79
J DEEMED DATE OF SERVICE (NON-CLAIM FORM DOCUMENTS) 79
 Detailed Contents ix

K CERTIFICATE OF SERVICE 80
L IRREGULAR SERVICE 80
M FILING 82
Key points summary 83

7 RENEWAL OF PROCESS 84

A POWER TO RENEW 84
B CLAIMS IN RESPECT OF CARGO 87
C MULTIPLE DEFENDANTS 87
D EFFECT OF STAY 87
E PROCEDURE ON SEEKING AN EXTENSION 87
F CHALLENGING AN ORDER GRANTING AN EXTENSION 88

8 PART 8 CLAIMS AND PETITIONS 89

A PART 8 CLAIMS 89
B PETITIONS 91
C WINDING-UP PETITIONS 91

9 PERSONAL INJURY CLAIMS UNDER £25,000 99

A CASES COVERED BY THE RTA AND EL/PL PROTOCOLS 100

B RTA PROTOCOL 100
C STAGE 1: CLAIM NOTIFICATION 101
D STAGE 2: MEDICAL EVIDENCE AND NEGOTIATION 104
E STAGE 3: PART 8 CLAIM TO DETERMINE QUANTUM 106
F CHILD SETTLEMENT APPLICATIONS 108
G LIMITATION 109
H FIXED COSTS UNDER THE RTA AND EL/PL PROTOCOLS 109
I CASES WHERE PARTIES CAN STOP FOLLOWING THE RTA OR EL/PL PROTOCOLS 109
Key points summary 110

10 ALTERNATIVE DISPUTE RESOLUTION 111

A ADR PROCESSES 111

B ADR OR COURT PROCEEDINGS 112
C COST OF ADR 114
D REFERENCE TO ADR 114
E COURT INVOLVEMENT IN ADR 115
Key points summary 117
x Detailed Contents

11 SERVICE OUTSIDE THE JURISDICTION 118

A SERVICE ON A FOREIGN DEFENDANT WITHIN THE JURISDICTION 119

B SUBMISSION TO THE JURISDICTION 119
C CASES OUTSIDE THE GENERAL RULES 120
D RECAST JUDGMENTS REGULATION 121
E ASSUMED JURISDICTION 124
F SERVICE ABROAD 127
G PREVENTING CONFLICTS IN JURISDICTION 128
H INTERIM RELIEF IN SUPPORT OF FOREIGN PROCEEDINGS 130
I JUDGMENT IN DEFAULT 131
Key points summary 131

12 RESPONDING TO A CLAIM 132

A TIME FOR RESPONDING 132

B ADMISSIONS 132
C DEFENCES 133
D ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF SERVICE 133
E AGREED EXTENSIONS 134
F DISPUTING SERVICE OR THE COURT’S JURISDICTION 134
G TRANSFER 135
H SPECIALIST CLAIMS 136
Key points summary 136

13 DEFAULT JUDGMENT 137

A WHEN DEFAULT JUDGMENT MAY BE ENTERED 137

B EXCLUDED CASES 139
C PROCEDURE FOR ENTERING DEFAULT JUDGMENT 139
D FINAL JUDGMENT AND JUDGMENT FOR AN AMOUNT TO BE DECIDED 141
E DECIDING THE AMOUNT OF DAMAGES: DISPOSAL HEARINGS 142
F SETTING ASIDE DEFAULT JUDGMENTS 143
G STAY OF UNDEFENDED CASES 146
Key points summary 146

14 STATEMENTS OF CASE 147

A FORM OF STATEMENTS OF CASE 148

B PARTICULARS OF CLAIM 151
 Detailed Contents xi

C DEFENCE 154
D COUNTERCLAIMS AND SET-OFFS 157
E REPLY AND DEFENCE TO COUNTERCLAIM 159
F SUBSEQUENT STATEMENTS OF CASE 159
G DISPENSING WITH STATEMENTS OF CASE 159
H SCOTT SCHEDULES 160
I INTERRELATION WITH CASE MANAGEMENT 160
J USE OF STATEMENTS OF CASE AT TRIAL 161

15 TRACK ALLOCATION AND CASE MANAGEMENT 162

A PROCEDURAL JUDGES 163

B DOCKETING 163
C PROVISIONAL TRACK ALLOCATION 164
D FILING DIRECTIONS QUESTIONNAIRES 164
E TRACK ALLOCATION 173
F ALLOCATION RULES 174
G NOTICE OF ALLOCATION 176
H ALLOCATION DIRECTIONS 176
I ADR AND STAYS TO ALLOW FOR SETTLEMENT 177
J TRANSFER TO APPROPRIATE COURT 178
K TRIAL IN THE ROYAL COURTS OF JUSTICE OR ROLLS BUILDING 178
L CHANGING TRACKS 178
M SUBSEQUENT CASE MANAGEMENT 179
N PRE-TRIAL CHECKLISTS 179
O SHORTER TRIALS AND FLEXIBLE TRIALS SCHEMES 181
Key points summary 182

16 COSTS MANAGEMENT 183

A ELEMENTS OF COSTS MANAGEMENT 184

B CASES GOVERNED BY COSTS MANAGEMENT 184
C COSTS BUDGETS 185
D COSTS MANAGEMENT ORDERS 187
E COSTS BUDGETS AND CASE MANAGEMENT 188
F JUDICIAL CONTROL OF COSTS BUDGETS 189
G IMPACT ON COSTS ORDERS 189
Key points summary 190
xii Detailed Contents

17 COSTS CAPPING AND PROTECTION 191

A COSTS CAPPING ORDERS 191

B BEDDOE ORDERS 192
C PROTECTIVE COSTS ORDERS 193
D JUDICIAL REVIEW COSTS CAPPING 194
E AARHUS CONVENTION CASES 194
F COSTS LIMITATION ORDERS 195
Key points summary 195

18 REQUESTS FOR FURTHER INFORMATION 196

A THE REQUEST FOR FURTHER INFORMATION 197

B THE RESPONSE 198
C OBJECTING TO REQUESTS 200
D ORDERS FOR RESPONSES 200
E PRINCIPLES 201
F COLLATERAL USE 202

19 PARTIES AND JOINDER 203

A DESCRIPTION OF PARTIES 203

B PARTICULAR CLASSES OF PARTY 203
C LITIGANTS IN PERSON 213
D VEXATIOUS LITIGANTS 214
E JOINDER 214
F REPRESENTATIVE PROCEEDINGS 215
G REPRESENTATION OF UNASCERTAINED PERSONS 216
H INTERVENTION 216
I CONSOLIDATION 217
J STAKEHOLDER CLAIMS 217
K ASSIGNMENT 218
L GROUP LITIGATION 219
Key points summary 219

20 ADDITIONAL CLAIMS UNDER PART 20 221

A NATURE OF ADDITIONAL CLAIMS 221

B RELATED PROCEDURES 221
C SCOPE OF PART 20 222
 Detailed Contents xiii

D STATEMENTS OF CASE IN ADDITIONAL CLAIMS 226

E CONTRIBUTION NOTICES 228
F PROCEDURE 228
G RELATION TO THE MAIN CLAIM 230
Key points summary 230

21 LIMITATION 231

A LIMITATION PERIODS 231

B ACCRUAL OF CAUSE OF ACTION 235
C CALCULATING THE LIMITATION PERIOD 241
D DISCRETION 244
E EQUITABLE REMEDIES, LACHES, AND ACQUIESCENCE 247
Key points summary 248

22 AMENDMENT 249

A AMENDMENT BY CONSENT 249

B AMENDMENT WITHOUT PERMISSION 249
C PRINCIPLES GOVERNING PERMISSION TO AMEND 250
D AMENDMENT AFTER THE EXPIRY OF THE LIMITATION PERIOD 254
E PROCEDURE ON AMENDING 259
Key points summary 260

23 INTERIM APPLICATIONS 261

A JURISDICTIONAL RULES 262

B TIME TO APPLY 262
C PRE-ACTION INTERIM REMEDIES 263
D OBLIGATION TO APPLY EARLY 263
E APPLICATIONS WITHOUT NOTICE 264
F APPLICATIONS WITH NOTICE 267
G INTERIM HEARINGS 274
H SUMMARY DETERMINATION OF INTERIM COSTS 275
I VARYING OR REVOKING INTERIM ORDERS 276
Key points summary 276

24 SUMMARY JUDGMENT 277

A TIME FOR APPLYING FOR SUMMARY JUDGMENT 277

B DEFENDANT’S APPLICATION: NO DEFAULT JUDGMENT 278
xiv Detailed Contents
C EXCLUDED PROCEEDINGS 278
D PROCEDURE 279
E ORDERS AVAILABLE 279
F AMENDMENT AT HEARING 289
G SOME OTHER COMPELLING REASON FOR A TRIAL 289
H DIRECTIONS ON SUMMARY JUDGMENT HEARING 290
I SPECIFIC PERFORMANCE, RESCISSION, AND FORFEITURE IN PROPERTY CASES 290
Key points summary 290

25 INTERIM PAYMENTS 291

A PROCEDURE 291
B GROUNDS 292
C AMOUNT TO BE ORDERED 294
D FURTHER APPLICATIONS 295
E NON-DISCLOSURE 295
F ADJUSTMENT 296
Key points summary 296

26 SECURITY FOR COSTS 297

A PROCEDURE 297
B THE RESPONDENT 299
C CONDITIONS FOR GRANTING SECURITY FOR COSTS 299
D DISCRETION TO ORDER SECURITY FOR COSTS 302
E AMOUNT 304
F ORDER 305
G SUCCESS BY THE CLAIMANT 305
Key points summary 305

27 SMALL CLAIMS TRACK 306

A PROVISIONS OF THE CPR THAT DO NOT APPLY 306

B STANDARD DIRECTIONS 307
C SPECIAL DIRECTIONS 307
D DETERMINATION WITHOUT A HEARING 308
E FINAL HEARINGS 308
F COSTS 308
G REHEARINGS 309
 Detailed Contents xv

28 FAST TRACK 310

A ALLOCATION DIRECTIONS 310

B LISTING DIRECTIONS 313
C STANDARD FAST TRACK TIMETABLE 313
D AGREED DIRECTIONS 314
E VARYING THE DIRECTIONS TIMETABLE 314
F LISTING FOR TRIAL 314
G FAST TRACK TRIALS 315
H COSTS IN FAST TRACK CASES 316
Key points summary 316

29 MULTI-TRACK 317

A AGREED DIRECTIONS 317

B CASE MANAGEMENT CONFERENCES 319
C FIXING THE DATE FOR TRIAL 322
D PRE-TRIAL CHECKLISTS 322
E LISTING HEARINGS 323
F PRE-TRIAL REVIEW 323
G DIRECTIONS GIVEN AT OTHER HEARINGS 324
H VARIATION OF CASE MANAGEMENT TIMETABLE 325
Key points summary 325

30 STRIKING OUT, DISCONTINUANCE, AND STAYS 326

A THE MAIN RULE 327

B PROCEDURE ON APPLICATIONS MADE BY PARTIES 327
C REFERENCES BY COURT OFFICERS 328
D GENERAL TEST 328
E NO REASONABLE GROUNDS FOR BRINGING OR DEFENDING THE CLAIM 329
F ABUSE OF PROCESS 330
G OBSTRUCTING THE JUST DISPOSAL OF THE PROCEEDINGS 333
H POWERS AFTER A STRIKING-OUT ORDER IS MADE 333
I DISCONTINUANCE 334
J STAYS 335
Key points summary 337
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xvi Detailed Contents

31 DISCLOSURE 338

A LAWYERS’ RESPONSIBILITIES 341

B CLIENTS’ RESPONSIBILITIES 342
C STAGE WHEN DISCLOSURE TAKES PLACE 342
D DISCLOSURE ORDERS 342
E STANDARD DISCLOSURE 343
F MENU OPTION DISCLOSURE 345
G BUSINESS AND PROPERTY COURT DISCLOSURE 348
H DUTY TO SEARCH 349
I LIST OF DOCUMENTS 350
J PRIVILEGE 351
K INSPECTION 360
L ORDERS IN SUPPORT OF DISCLOSURE 360
M DOCUMENTS REFERRED TO IN STATEMENTS OF CASE, ETC. 362
N ADMISSION OF AUTHENTICITY 362
O COLLATERAL USE 362
Key points summary 363

32 WITNESS STATEMENTS, AFFIDAVITS, AND DEPOSITIONS 364

A TYPES OF WRITTEN EVIDENCE 364

B WITNESS STATEMENTS 365
C WITNESS SUMMARIES 369
D AFFIDAVITS AND AFFIRMATIONS 370
E DEPOSITIONS 371

33 HEARSAY 372

A THE HEARSAY RULE 372

B REAL EVIDENCE 373
C ADMISSIBILITY OF HEARSAY EVIDENCE 373
D NOTICE PROCEDURE 375
E TRIAL 377
Key points summary 378

34 ADMISSIONS AND DOCUMENTARY EVIDENCE 379

A NATURE OF ADMISSIONS 379

B PRE-ACTION ADMISSIONS OF LIABILITY 380
C PERMISSION TO WITHDRAW AN ADMISSION 380
 Detailed Contents xvii

D NOTICE TO ADMIT FACTS 381

E PROVING DOCUMENTS 383

35 EXPERTS 385

A ADMISSIBILITY OF EXPERT EVIDENCE 385

B CONTROL OF EVIDENCE 388
C PRIVILEGED NATURE OF EXPERTS’ REPORTS 388
D DISCLOSURE OF EXPERTS’ REPORTS 389
E WRITTEN QUESTIONS TO EXPERTS 393
F WITHOUT PREJUDICE DISCUSSION 394
G EXAMINATIONS BY EXPERTS 394
H TRIAL 396
I EXPERTS’ IMMUNITY FROM SUIT 398
J USE OF EXPERTS’ REPORTS AFTER TRIAL 398
Key points summary 398

36 OFFERS TO SETTLE 399

A INTRODUCTION 399
B CALDERBANK OFFERS 400
C OFFERS TO SETTLE 400
D MAKING A PART 36 OFFER 407
E ACCEPTANCE OF A PART 36 OFFER 407
F REJECTIONS, COUNTER-OFFERS, AND SUBSEQUENT OFFERS 409
G WITHDRAWAL AND CHANGE OF PART 36 OFFERS 409
H FAILING TO OBTAIN JUDGMENT MORE ADVANTAGEOUS THAN
A PART 36 OFFER 410
I ADVISING ON PART 36 OFFERS 412
J NON-DISCLOSURE TO JUDGE 413
K PART 36 OFFERS IN APPEALS 413
Key points summary 413

37 SANCTIONS 414

A NON-COMPLIANCE WITH PRE-ACTION PROTOCOLS 414

B NON-COMPLIANCE WITH THE CPR 414
C NON-COMPLIANCE WITH DIRECTIONS 415
D PRESERVATION OF TRIAL DATE 416
xviii Detailed Contents
E APPLICATION FOR SANCTIONS 416
F UNLESS ORDERS 418
G NON-COMPLIANCE WITH AN UNLESS ORDER 418
H EXTENDING TIME AND CORRECTING ERRORS 419
I RELIEF FROM SANCTIONS AND SETTING ASIDE 420
J IMPLIED SANCTIONS DOCTRINE 422
Key points summary 423

38 LISTING AND PRE-TRIAL REVIEWS 424

A LISTING FOR TRIAL 424

B PRE-TRIAL REVIEWS 428
C LISTING IN THE ROYAL COURTS OF JUSTICE 428
D ADJOURNMENTS 428

39 TRIAL 429

A WITNESSES 429
B TRIAL DOCUMENTATION 432
C TRIAL LOCATION 433
D ALLOCATION TO JUDICIARY 434
E IMPARTIALITY OF JUDGE 434
F PUBLIC OR PRIVATE HEARING 435
G RIGHTS OF AUDIENCE AND THE RIGHT TO CONDUCT LITIGATION 436
H McKENZIE FRIENDS 436
I CONDUCT OF THE TRIAL 437
J PRELIMINARY ISSUES 440
K TRIAL BY JURY 441
L NON-ATTENDANCE AT TRIAL 442
Key points summary 442

40 REFERENCES TO THE COURT OF JUSTICE OF THE EUROPEAN UNION 443

A QUESTIONS WHICH MAY BE REFERRED 443

B MANDATORY REFERENCES 443
C DISCRETIONARY REFERENCES 444
D PROCEDURE IN ENGLAND 446
E PROCEDURE IN THE COURT OF JUSTICE OF THE EUROPEAN UNION 447
F COSTS 447
 Detailed Contents xix

41 JUDGMENTS AND ORDERS 448

A SETTLEMENTS 448
B ORDERS MADE AT HEARINGS 449
C FORM OF JUDGMENTS AND ORDERS 450
D GENERAL RULES RELATING TO DRAWING UP ORDERS AND JUDGMENTS 455
E REGISTER OF JUDGMENTS 457
Key points summary 457

42 INTERIM INJUNCTIONS 458

A JUDGES ABLE TO GRANT INJUNCTIONS 459

B PRE-ACTION APPLICATIONS FOR INTERIM INJUNCTIONS 459
C APPLICATIONS DURING PROCEEDINGS 461
D PRINCIPLES 462
E DEFENCES 474
F THE ORDER 475
G UNDERTAKINGS 477
H INQUIRY AS TO DAMAGES 478
I DISCHARGE 479
J BREACH 479
K EFFECT OF NOT APPLYING FOR INTERIM RELIEF 480
Key points summary 480

43 FREEZING INJUNCTIONS 481

A PROCEDURE 481
B PRINCIPLES 482
C THE ORDER 486
D EFFECT OF THE ORDER 490
E VARIATION OR DISCHARGE OF A FREEZING INJUNCTION 490
F FREEZING INJUNCTIONS AFTER JUDGMENT 491
G PROPRIETARY CLAIMS 492
H WRIT NE EXEAT REGNO 492
Key points summary 492

44 SEARCH ORDERS 493

A PROCEDURE 493
B PRINCIPLES 494
xx Detailed Contents
C REAL RISK OF DESTRUCTION 495
D FORM OF THE ORDER 496
E PRACTICE ON EXECUTION OF SEARCH ORDERS 496
F PRIVILEGE 498
G DISCHARGE AND VARIATION OF SEARCH ORDERS 499
H AFTER EXECUTION 499
I COLLATERAL USE 500
Key points summary 500

45 NORWICH PHARMACAL AND RELATED DISCLOSURE ORDERS 501

A NORWICH PHARMACAL ORDERS 501

B MERE WITNESS RULE 504
C BANKERS TRUST ORDERS 504
D DISCLOSURE BEFORE PROCEEDINGS START 505
E DISCLOSURE BY NON-PARTIES 507
F DISCLOSURE OF MEDIATION EVIDENCE 508
G INSPECTION OF PROPERTY DURING PROCEEDINGS 508
H INTERIM DELIVERY-UP OF GOODS 509
Key points summary 510

46 COSTS 511

A COSTS ORDERS: GENERAL PRINCIPLES 512

B COSTS FOLLOW THE EVENT 514
C RANGE OF POSSIBLE COSTS ORDERS 517
D INTERIM COSTS ORDERS 518
E INFORMING THE CLIENT 520
F INDEMNITY PRINCIPLE 520
G BASIS OF QUANTIFICATION 521
H PROPORTIONALITY 521
I SUMMARY ASSESSMENT 522
J DETAILED ASSESSMENT 523
K FAST TRACK FIXED COSTS 524
L FIXED AND SCALE COSTS 525
M COSTS AND TRACK ALLOCATION 525
N PUBLICLY FUNDED LITIGANTS 525
O PRO BONO COSTS ORDERS 526
P COSTS AGAINST NON-PARTIES 526
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Standeth God within the shadow, keeping watch above His own.

We see dimly in the Present what is small and what is great,

Slow of faith, how weak an arm may turn the iron helm of fate,
But the soul is still oracular; amid the market’s din,
List the ominous stern whisper from the Delphic cave within,—
“They enslave their children’s children who make compromise with
sin.”
 CHAPTER VI
ARTICULATION EXERCISES

The pronunciations and definitions throughout these pages are

those given in “Webster’s New International Dictionary,” published by
G. & C. Merriam Co., Springfield, Mass., 1918 Edition.

Without a graceful and pleasing enunciation, all your

elegancy of style in speaking is not worth a farthing.
—Chesterfield.

In the utterance of words we are concerned with the following

terms: Pronunciation, Enunciation and Articulation. In a general way
their meanings are identical, but yet there is a mark of difference
characterizing each.
Pronunciation has to do with the act of uttering a single letter,
syllable, word, sentence, or whole address. This concerns
correctness.
Enunciation has to do with careful, distinct utterance so that any
word or any part of a word is completely audible. This concerns
distinctness.
Articulation has to do with the act of gracefully and skillfully
manipulating those organs of speech necessary for the correct
pronunciation and distinct enunciation of words. This concerns
skillfulness.
At least a part of the following exercises should be practiced daily,
preferably in the morning. A few minutes’ practice is a splendid tonic
for the tasks of the day.

I. For the Lips and Jaw

1. Repeat e a aw ah o oo. In doing this extend the lips and use a
relaxed jaw.
2. Repeat again, giving a rising inflection to each. Then give each
sound the falling inflection, and then the circumflex inflection.
3. Intone them on successive pitches. Be sure you have pure vowel
quality.
4. Whisper the sounds e aw permitting the jaw, in the latter sound, to
drop completely relaxed each time.

II. For Lips, Tongue and Soft Palate

1. Repeat eb ab awb ahb ob oob.
2. Repeat ed ad awd ahd od ood.
3. Repeat eg ag awg ahg og oog.
4. Repeat ek ak awk ahk ok ook.

III. The Aspirates, or Breath Sounds

1. Repeat the breath sound of p wh f th s t sh h k.
2. Repeat wh (when) whe wha whaw whah who whoo.
3. Repeat fe fa faw fah fo foo.
4. Repeat th (thin) the tha thaw thah tho thoo.
5. Repeat se sa saw sah so soo.
6. Repeat te ta taw tah to too.
7. Repeat she sha shaw shah sho shoo.
8. Repeat he ha haw hah ho hoo.
9. Repeat ke ka kaw kah ko koo.
10. Repeat pe pa paw pah po poo.
 IV. The Sub-Vocal Sounds
1. Repeat the vocal sound of b w th v z d r zh y g.
2. Repeat be ba baw bah bo boo.
3. Repeat w (wise) we wa waw wah wo woo.
4. Repeat ve va vaw vah vo voo.
5. Repeat ze za zaw zah zo zoo.
6. Repeat de da daw dah do doo.
7. Repeat re ra raw rah ro roo.
8. Repeat zhe zha zhaw zhah zho zhoo.
9. Repeat ye ya yaw yah yo yoo.
10. Repeat ge ga gaw gah go goo.
11. Repeat th (thine) the tha thaw thah tho thoo.

V. The Liquid Sounds

1. Repeat l m n.
2. Repeat le la law lah lo loo.
3. Repeat me ma maw mah mo moo.
4. Repeat ne na naw nah no noo.

VI. The Nasal Sounds

1. Repeat m-m-m-e m-m-m-a m-m-m-aw m-m-m-ah m-m-m-o m-m-
m-oo.
2. Repeat n-n-n-e n-n-n-a n-n-n-aw n-n-n-ah n-n-n-o n-n-n-oo.
3. Repeat ng-ng-ng-e ng-ng-ng-a ng-ng-ng-aw ng-ng-ng-ah ng-ng-
ng-o ng-ng-ng-oo.

VII. Combination Sounds

 1. 2. 3. 4.
Breath Voice Breath Voice Breath Voice Breath Voice
fe ve whe we se ze she zhe
fa va wha wa sa za sha zha
faw vaw whaw waw saw zaw shaw zhaw
fah vah whah wah sah zah shah zhah
fo vo who we so zo sho zho
foo voo whoo woo soo zoo shoo zhoo

Here follow a number of difficult combinations especially good for

the pupil who mumbles or is habitually careless and indolent. Their
use is effective in producing flexibility of lips, tongue and palate. It is
not advisable to spend too intensive or too long practice, however,
upon these so-called tongue-twisters lest verbal utterance becomes
a laborious, mechanical process. But there are some who need just
such exercises, and those who desire rapid and distinct articulation
cannot practice them too much, provided their exercise is interesting
or amusing.

Betty Botter bought some butter.

“But,” she said, “this butter’s bitter;
If I put it in my batter,
It will make my batter bitter;
But a bit of better butter
Will but make my batter better.”
So she bought a bit o’ butter
Better than the bitter butter,
And made her bitter batter better.
So ’twas better Betty Botter
Bought a bit of better butter.

—Sheffield Telegraph.

“Thunder,” thought Theresa.

“Thieves!” throbbed Theodore.
 Theresa thumped, threatened, thwarted those three thieves,
throwing the thick thesaurus—that thrilled them! Theodore thanked
Theresa.

I like to write about Marie,

For glee and she and be and see
And we and plea and free and me
All go nicely with Marie.

—Chicago Herald.

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck

If a wood chuck could and would chuck wood?
He’d chuck as much wood as a wood chuck would
If a wood chuck could and would chuck wood.

A thatcher of Thatchwood went to Thatchet a-thatching.

Five flippy Frenchmen foolishly fanning fainting flies.
Eight eager, earnest, eccentric Englishmen eating eleven elusive
eagles.
High up the hill he heaved a huge hoe.
A cheap, changeable, child-like chimpanzee champion playing
checkers with Charles.
Black bugs’ blood. (Repeat quickly.)

When a twiner a-twisting will twist him a twist,

For the twining his twist he three twines doth entwist.
But if one of the twines of the twist doth untwist
The twine that untwisted, untwisteth the twist.
 As much of the dew that the dew drops drop, if dew drops do drop
dew.

A tutor, who tooted a flute, tried to tutor two tooters to toot. Said
the two to the tutor: “Is it harder to toot, or tutor two tooters to toot?”

A shy little she said shoo

To a fly and a flea in a flue.
Said the flea, “Let us fly.”
Said the fly, “Let us flee.”
So they flew through a flaw in the flue.

Amidst the mists and coldest frosts,

With barest wrists and stoutest boasts,
He thrusts his fists against the posts,
And still insists he sees the ghosts.

Bring a bit of buttered bran bread.

Lucy likes light literature.
Around the rough and rugged rocks the ragged rascal ran.
A lovely lily lying all alone along the lane.
Can a stammerer flatter a flatterer?
The bald lawyer saw all in the hall.
Ask at last the flask for the task.

To the Windmills said the Millwheel:

“As the wind wills do you still wheel?”
“Yes, we still wheel when the wind wills!”
To the Millwheel said the Windmills.

She stood at the door of Mrs. Smith’s fish-sauce shop in the

Strand welcoming him in.
 Sisyphus sold six pairs of shining steel, slippery scissors.
What noise annoys a noisy oyster most? A noisy noise annoys
noisy oyster most.
A little leaven leaveneth the whole lump. (Not whole hump.)
A sad dangler. (Not angler.)
A languid dame. (Not aim.)
His crime moved me. (Not cry.)
He will prate to anybody. (Not pray.)
Chaste stars. (Not tars.)
Irish yews. (Not shoes.)
“Give the cat stale bread!” “The cat’s tail, mamma?”
“Silence, child!”
Fill the sieve with thistles, then sift the thistles in the sieve.
A glowing gleam glowing green.
The bleak breeze blighted the bright broom blossoms.
Flesh of freshly dried flying fish.
Six thick thistle sticks.
Two toads tried to trot to Tedbury.
Give Grimes Jim’s great gilt gig whip.
Strong Stephen Stringer snared slickly six sickly silky snakes.
Much water makes the meal-mill wheel work well.
Eye her highness, how high she holds her old haughty head.
The soup must be heated before he eat it.

Hugh Go goes for the girls that he sees;

Pa Go goes ’cause it limbers his knees;
Ma Go goes for the ease ’neath the trees;
Nanny Go goes for the coasters that please;
Letta Go goes for Galligher’s squeeze.
So, go where the Goes go.

Max with a wax match.

The sea ceaseth—it sufficeth sufficiently that the sea ceaseth.
Six slick slim slippery slimy sleek slender sickly saplings.

Owen Moore went away

Owing more than he could pay;
Owen Moore came back one day
Owing more.

There was a young fellow named Tait

Who dined with his girl at 8:08.
As Tate did not state,
I cannot relate
What Tate and his tête-à-tête ate at 8:08.

A farmer had a seeder for the seeding of the seed. It was a cedar
seeder, and said he: “I never seed a seeder that could exceed this
yere cedar seeder for the seedin’ of the seed.”

SIMON SHORT’S SON SAMUEL

Shrewd Simon Short sewed shoes. Seventeen summers’
speeding storms, spreading sunshine, successively saw Simon’s
small shabby shop still stanch; saw Samuel’s self-same squeaking
sign still swinging, silently speechifying: “Simon Short, Smithfield’s
sole surviving shoemaker, shoes sewed, soled superfinely.”
 Simon’s spry, sedulous spouse, Sally Short, sewed shirts, stitched
sheets, stuffed sofas. Simon’s six stout, sturdy sons, Seth, Samuel,
Stephen, Saul, Shadrach, Silas—sold sundries. Sober Seth sold
sugar, starch, spice; Simple Samuel sold saddles, stirrups, screws;
sagacious Stephen sold silks, satins, shawls; skeptical Saul sold
silver salvers; selfish Shadrach sold salves, shoestrings, soap,
skates, saws, sausages, sawdust; slack Silas sold Sally Short’s
stuffed sofas.
Some seven summers since, Simon’s second son, Samuel, saw
Sophia Sophronia Spriggs, sweet, sensible, smart Sophronia
Spriggs. Sam showed strange symptoms. Sam seldom stayed
storing, selling saddles. Sam sighed sorrowfully, sought Sophia
Sophronia Spriggs’ society; sung several serenades slyly. Simon
stormed, scolded severely, said Sam seemed so silly singing such
shameful, senseless songs. “Strange, Sam should slight such
splendid summer sales! Strutting Spendthrift! Shatter-brained
simpleton!”
“Softly, softly, sire!” said Sally. “Sam’s smitten; Sam’s spied some
sweetheart.”
“Sentimental schoolboy!” snarled Simon. “Smitten! stop such
stuff!” Simon sent Sally’s snuffbox spinning, seized Sally’s scissors,
smashed Sally’s spectacles, scattered several spools. “Sneaking
scoundrel! Sam’s shocking silliness shall surcease!” Scowling Simon
stopped speaking, starting swiftly shopward. Sally sighed sadly.
Summoning Sam, she spoke sweet sympathy.
“Sam,” said she, “Sire seems singularly snappy; so, sonny, stop
strutting streets, stop smoking segars, spending specie
superfluously, stop sprucing so, stop singing serenades, stop short!
Sell saddles sensibly. See Sophia Sophronia Spriggs soon; she’s
sprightly; she’s stable. So, solicit, sue, secure Sophia speedily,
Sam.”
“So soon? So soon?” said Sam, standing stock-still.
“So soon, surely,” said Sally, smiling, “’specially since Sire shows
such spirits.”
 So Sam, somewhat scared, sauntered slowly, shaking
stupendously. Sam soliloquizes: “Sophia Sophronia Spriggs—
Spriggs—Samuel Short’s spouse—sounds splendid. Suppose she
should say—shoo? She shan’t! She shan’t!”
Soon Sam spied Sophia starching shirts, singing softly. Seeing
Sam, she stopped starching, saluted Sam smilingly. Sam stammered
shockingly: “Spl-spl-splendid summer season, Sophia.”
“Somewhat sultry,” suggested Sophia.
“Sar-sartin, Sophia,” said Sam! (Silence seventeen seconds.)
“Selling saddles, still, Sam?”
“Sartin,” said Sam, starting suddenly. “Season’s somewhat
sudorific,” said Sam, stealthily staunching sweat, shaking sensibly.
“Sartin,” said Sophia, significantly. “Sip some sherbert, Sam?”
(Silence sixty seconds.)
“Sire shot sixty sheldrakes, Saturday,” said Sophia.
“Sixty? sho!” said Sam. (Silence seventy seconds.)
“See Sister Susan’s sunflowers,” said Sophia, sociably scattering
such stiff silence.
Sophia’s sprightly sauciness stimulated Sam strangely; so Sam
suddenly spoke sentimentally, “Sophia, Susan’s sunflowers seem
saying, ‘Samuel Short, Sophia Sophronia Spriggs, stroll serenely,
sequestered spot, some sylvan shade. Sparkling springs shall sing
soul-soothing strains; sweet songsters shall silence secret sighings;
super-angelic sylphs shall—’”
Sophia snickered, so Sam stopped.
“Sophia,” said Sam solemnly.
“Sam,” said Sophia.
“Sophia, stop smiling. Sam Short’s sincere. Sam’s seeking some
spouse, Sophia!”
Sophia stood silent.
 “Speak! Sophia, speak! Such suspense stimulates sorrow.”
“Seek Sire, Sam, seek Sire!”
Sam sought Sire Spriggs. Sire Spriggs said, “Sartin.”
So Sophia Sophronia Spriggs serenely signs Sam’s screeds
“Sophia Sophronia Spriggs Short.”

Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in sifting a sieve full

of unsifted thistles, thrust three thousand thistles through the thick of
his thumb. Now if Theophilus Thistle, the successful thistle sifter, in
sifting a sieve full of unsifted thistles thrust three thousand thistles
through the thick of his thumb, see that thou, in sifting a sieve full of
unsifted thistles, thrust not three thousand thistles through the thick
of thy thumb.

There was a man named Bill. The said Bill owned a bill-board and
he also owed a board-bill. Bill’s board-bill fell due, but owing to the
fact that Bill’s bill-board held all his money, the said Bill was unable
to settle the board-bill. Bill’s landlady was much bored with Bill, with
Bill’s board-bill and with Bill’s bill-board. Bill also became bored with
himself, bored with his landlady, bored with his board-bill, and bored
with his bill-board. So Bill, bored and bored and bored by her who
was also bored and bored and bored, sold his bill-board and paid his
board-bill; and thus Bill who was often bored and the board that was
often billed and the bill that often bored—Bill, bill-board and board-
bill, together with the thrice-bored board-bill lady served to make
history, the reading of which continues to bore all owners of bill-
boards and owners of board-bills to this day.

Though doubtless written with some immediate political purpose,

with which we have no concern, the student of a perfect enunciation
will find the following a most helpful exercise.
 AIN’T IT THE TRUTH?
By Threl Fall

Woodrow Wilson works wonders while

Windy worldlings weary welkins with
What were whilom winful warcries.
While wayward Washingtonians without
Wit whimper wearisomely, while witless
Wretches whine weasel words with will,
While woebegone weaklings wobble,
Waver, wizen; while weasened warlocks
Who want weapons wickedly weave webs,
Woodrow who would wither weltering
World war works wholesouledly. Woodrow
Warps world-peace woof with western
Wisdom, whipsaws wayfaring wastrels
Who would wantonly wreck. Woodrow
Whangs werewolves, watches whisperers,
Whales welchers. Woodrow warily
Wheedles world-hardened wiseacres
Who wrangle. Woodrow without
Weakening whacks wooden-headed
Whippersnappers who warble. Woodrow’s
Welcome World Weal wins war-weary
Womankind, wan widows whose warriors
Were wasted, wink warmly, winsome
Wenches whoop wildly, waltzing
Walkyrie-like, worthy wives warble
Whimsically. Woodrow withal wakes
World wants which were withered.
Whangdoodles with warlike ways
Would well ’ware Wilson.

—Los Angeles Times, March 20, 1919.

 FAR-FAMED FAIRY TALE OF FENELLA[1]
(1) A Famous Fish Factor Found himself Father of Five Fine
Flirting Females—Fanny, Florence, Fernanda, Francesca, and
Fenella. (2) The First Four were Flat-Featured, ill-Favored,
Forbidding-Faced, Freckled Frumps; Fretful, Flippant, Foolish, and
Flaunting. (3) Fenella was a Fine-Featured, Fresh, Fleet-Footed
Fairy; Frank, Free and Full of Fun. (4) The Fisher Failed and was
Forced by Fickle Fortune to Forego his Footman, Forfeit his
Forefather’s Fine Fields, and Find a Forlorn Farmhouse in a
Forsaken Forest. (5) The Four Fretful Females, Fond of Figuring at
Feasts in Feathers and Fashionable Finery, Fumed at their Fugitive
Father. (6) Forsaken by Fulsome, Flattering Fortune-hunters, who
Followed them when Fish Flourished, Fenella Fondled her Father,
Flavored their Food, Forgot her Flattering Followers, and Frolicked in
Frieze without Flounces. (7) The Father, Finding himself Forced to
Forage in Foreign parts for a Fortune, Found he could afford a
Fairing For his Five Fondlings. (8) The First Four were Fain to Foster
their Frivolity with Fine Frills and Fans, Fit to Finish their Father’s
Finances; Fenella, Fearful of Flooring him, Formed a Fancy For a
Full, Fresh Flower. (9) Fate Favored the Fish-Factor For a Few days,
when he Fell in with a Fog; his Faithful Filly’s Footsteps Faltered,
and Food Failed. (10) He Found himself in Front of a Fortified
Fortress. Finding it Forsaken, and Feeling himself Feeble and
Forlorn with Fasting, he Fed upon the Fish, Flesh and Fowl he
Found, Fricasseed and Fried; and when Full, Fell Flat on the Floor.
(11) Fresh in the Forenoon he Forthwith Flew to the Fruitful Fields,
and, not Forgetting Fenella, he Filched a Fair Flower; when a Foul,
Frightful, Fiendish Figure Flashed Forth, “Felonious Fellow!—
Fingering my Flower—I’ll Finish you! Go, say Farewell to your Fine,
Felicitous Family, and Face me in a Fortnight.” (12) The Faint-
hearted Fisher Fumed and Faltered, and Fast was Far in his Flight.
(13) His Five daughters Flew to Fall at his Feet, and Fervently
Felicitate him. (14) Frantically and Fluently he unfolded his Fate. (15)
Fenella, Forthwith, Fortified by Filial Fondness, Followed her
Father’s Footsteps, and Flung her Faultless Form at the Foot of the
Frightful Figure, who Forgave the Father, and Fell Flat on his Face;
For he had Fervently Fallen in a Fiery Fit of love For the Fair Fenella.
(16) He Feasted and Fostered her, till, Fascinated by his
Faithfulness, she Forgot the Ferocity of his Face, Form and Feature;
and Frankly and Fondly Fixed Friday Fifth of February, For the affair
to come off. (17) There were present at the wedding, Fanny,
Florence, Fernanda, Francesca, and the Fisher. (18) There were
Festivity, Fragrance, Finery, Fireworks, Fricasseed Frogs, Fritters,
Fish, Flesh, Fowl and Furmenty; Frontignac, Flip, and Fare Fit For
the Fastidious; Fruit, Fuss, Flambeaux, Four Fat Fiddlers, and Fifers;
and the Frightful Form of the Fortunate and Frumpish Fiend Fell
From him, and he Fell at Fenella’s Feet, a Fair-Favored, Fine, Frank
Freeman of the Forest! (19) Behold the Fruits of Filial affection!—
Comic Times.

MY M-MADE MEMORY MEDLEY

MENTIONING MEMORY’S MARVELOUS MANIFESTATIONS[2]
(1) Memory Means Mind—Mind Means Memory. (2) Memory Most
Mysteriously Makes Mental Memoranda. (3) Matured Metaphysical
Meditation Manifests Memory Man’s Mighty Maker’s Manifoldly
Marvelous, Magnificent Masterpiece. (4) Memory Makes, Molds,
Modifies, Moves, Maintains Mind; Memory Moves Man’s Mouth;
Memory Manages Man’s Manipulations. (5) Multitudinous
Misfortunes Mark Meager Memory, Municipal Mismanagement,
Maritime Mishaps, Mercantile Miscalculations. (6) Meager Memory
Means Mystification, Misconception, Misunderstanding, Mournful
Mental Malady. (7) Many Men Meditating Merge ’Mid Mystification,
Mostly Meaning Mismanaged Memory. (8) Meager Memory Makes
Many Men Mere Mute Mummies. (9) Mold Memory, Manage
Memory; Make Memory-Meditations Mind-Making Material. Mere
Mechanical, Muttering Memory Makes Many Men Mere Meaning-
Minus Magpies. (10) Memory Managed Methodically, Manifests
Marvelous Might. (11) Many Maddened Masters Murmuringly
Mistrust Meritedly Mistrusted Menials’ Muddly Memories. (12)
Menials’ Message Mangling Misconduct, Magical Modern Memory
Methods Most Materially Mitigate. (13) Memory Methods Master
Most Marvelous Medleys. (14) Miss Market-Much Might Memorize
Meat, Mustard, Mushrooms, Melons, Marmalade, Milk, Mullets,
Mops, Matches, Medicine, Myrrh, Musk, Muslin, Music; Moreover
Many Miscellaneous Momentous Messages. (15) Many Men Much
Misunderstand Memory Methods, Making Mental Mazes Much More
Mysterious; Making Mere Mole-Mounds Mule Maddening-Mountains;
Making Minutest Mites Mighty Mammalia. (16) Many Men Mentally
Merely Move Mobward, Mingling Mimicked, Meaningless
Murmurings ’Midst Misty-Minded Men’s Maniacal Mutterings,
Menacing Memory Method’s Mutilation. Mildly, Manfully, Mockingly,
Memory Men March, Maintaining Majesty. (17) Mercenary Motives,
Mistaken Monetary Management May Make Many Meanly Miss
Mentally Masticating Memory Methods. Moral Men Manifesting
Manly Motives May Mention Memory’s Marvelous Malleability,
Making Memory’s Maximum Man’s Mental Meridian! (18) Murky-
Minded, Misanthropic, Monopolizing Men May Malevolently Mutter
Many Mischievous, Malice-Molded Maledictions, Mockingly
Mistrusting Memory Methods. (19) Memory Methods Master Minutely
Many Manuals, Mosaic Maxims, Mediæval Memorables, Masonic
Mysteries, Mechanical Movements, Mineral Mixtures, Medicinal
Metamorphoses, Musical Measures, Mathematical Materials,
Mercantile Managements, Momentary Mementos. (20) Memory
Methods Might Make Monarchs, Ministers, Members, Mayors,
Magistrates, Mouth Most Mightily, Minus Manuscripts. (21) Memory
Methodically Manifested Makes Man Muscularly, Mentally, Morally,
Mercantilely, Much More Manly. (22) Memory May Make
Metropolitan Manufacturers Manufacture Many Most Magnificent
Materials, Merely Marking Mentally Modistes’ Modified Matchless
Models. (23) Memory Makes Money-Moving Merchants Mass Many
More Money-Mounds. (24) Memory Makes Morose Men Much More
Mannerly. Memory Makes Men’s Motto “Mutely Miss Mischievous
Meddling.” (25) Memory, Marking Man’s Misguided Mind, Makes
Man Merciful. Mingled Mortifications, Minus Merciful Memory, Make
Minor Mistakes Miscreant Misdemeanors. (26) Memory, Methodized,
Makes More Magnetic, Meltingly Melodious, Meekminded, Modest,
Marriageable Maidens. (27) Memory Makes Mothers Manage
Minutest, Multitudinously Miscellaneous Matters Meritoriously
Maternally. (28) Memory Makes Model Men Matchlessly Master
Mimicry. Memory Makes Mimics Mimic Minutely. (29) Mind—
Memory! Mockingly, Maddeningly, Manages, Masters, Manacles
Men’s Mere Muscular Might. (30) Memory Molds Men’s Musings;
Millionaires’ Musings May Mark Moldering Marble Monuments,
Mutely Mentioning Magnificent Munificences. (31) Military Men,
Musing, May Mark Muskets, Matchless Marksmen, Mortars, Majors,
Men, Movements, Maneuvers. (32) Milkmaid’s Musings May Mark
Mist-Moistened Meadows, Mirthful Milkmen Merrily Milking, Millers,
Mills, Men Mowing, Moving Mud-Mounds, Minding Mares, Managing
Managers, Malting; Master’s Mansion, Master Making Market
Memos.; Mistress Making Mincemeat; Miss Millie “Musicking”;
Master Mathew Meeting Miss May Marry-Me. (33) Man’s Misconduct
Makes Meditation—Memory—Mental Misery. (34) Murderers’ Morbid
Minds Meek Morpheus Molests, Making Midnight’s Mysterious
Musings Merciless Mental Martyrdoms. (35) Methodical Memorizing
Means Mating Mentally—Mark! Minister Manuscript—Manuscript
Mission—Mission Money—Money Missionary—Missionary
Mohammedan—Mohammedan Meditate—Meditate Misconduct—
Misconduct Mediator—Mediator Messiah! Mark, Moreover, Memory
Methods Make Mixed Mental Masses Most Marvelously
Manageable. Meager Memory, Moderate Memory, Mighty Memory,
Method May Magnify Much. (36) Mentioning My M-Made Memory
Medley, May Make Many Melancholy Moping Men Manifest Much
Merriment. (37) Many Merely Muttering My M-Made Memory Medley
May Make Multitudinous Mistakes. (38) My Memory Men May
Memorize My Matchlessly Mouth Martyrdomizing M-Made Memory
Medley!!!
—William Stokes.

If one has a little spare time, he can use it to good advantage in

making alliterative exercises for himself. It will enlarge his
vocabulary, discipline him in the use of unfamiliar words, and, at the
same time, afford him opportunity for linguistic practice for the
improvement of his pronunciation, enunciation and articulation. For
instance, here are a few crude attempts made by one of the authors
when he was lying on a sick-bed and desired a change of mental
occupation.

MIGHTY MAJESTIC MIND

Man’s Muscular, Mental, Moral Master
Mind magnificently masters man. Mind majestically manages
man’s muscular, mental, moral movements. Man moves materially.
Material movements mean motions made muscularly, mechanically.
Man’s mechanics move as man’s mind mandates. Mere mechanical-
man, muscular-man, means microcosmic majesty, but man’s moral
mentality, mysteriously manifests man’s Mighty Maker’s magnificent,
matchless majesty. Mind manifestations mean mentation, mystery,
method, municipal management, music, melody, multifarious
manufactures, market manipulations, Marconi messages,
macadamization, motor movements, mechanical mastery, metallic
mixtures, muscular motions mentally mandated, maritime
maneuvers, magnetic mastery. Men’s mental missteps mean misery,
morbidity, moroseness, many moon’s mournful meditations. Man’s
mind mismanaged means mental mirages, miserable miserliness,
mean marriages. Many men marry mistakenly, merely marking mean
mentality, moral mismanagement. Miserable marriages mean morbid
mouthings, misleading marital mirages, moral missteps, monotonous
months, mean moments, miserable meetings. Mean, malicious,
morally morbid, meddling marplots make many marriage mates
miserable, mouthing mendacious misstatements, manufacturing
mean messages, making matrons mutely meditate mauling
mysterious maidens who merrily manipulate meager-minded men.
Methodistical, Mennonite maidens, meditating many men’s
malodorous matrimonial mishaps, mercilessly meditate maidenhood,
mocking marriage misfits. Maidens morally, mentally, muscularly
married, majestically move matronward, meeting motherhood
merrily. Mighty Majestic Mind made Maiden Mary’s motherhood
mysteriously materialize. Moral man’s meditations magnify Maiden
Mary’s marvelous motherhood. Mans’, matrons’, maidens’ managed
mentations mean mentally-manipulated meritorious monogamous
marriages, making mates materially merry, managing maternity
modernly. Moreover, man’s managed mentations mean mercantile
might, maritime majesty, masterly mechanics, monkish manuscripts,
marble mansions, moon maps, martial maneuvers, military
marchings, magnificent masquerades, mail movements, mystic
materializations, mathematical mazes, Maypole maidens, molded
medals, modern medicine, megalithic monuments, musical
megaphones, melodramatic monologues, man’s melioration, mellow
memories, Mennonite missionaries, merciful mandatories, Messianic
masses, metaphysical messages, mighty metaphors, metaphrastic
metamorphoses, metallic mercuries, marvelous metropolises,
Methodistic morals, monks’ meditations, Mohammedan mosques,
miniature minarets, masterful ministers, miraculous mirrors, martial
mobilizations, multiplied musicians, marble mosaics, meaningful
mottoes. Mendelssohn made manifold music, monkish masses,
modulated madrigals, mincing minuets, military marches. Moor
mountebanks make money monkey-shining. Melancthon’s managed
mentality materialized moral mottoes, manuscripts, mandates,
mental manna for mighty monarchs, manifold multitudes. Macbeth’s
moral missteps materialized manichean morbidity, malignant
moroseness, murderous manifestations, maniacal madness. Merry
Maryland’s melody moves men’s, matrons’, maidens’ muscular
movements mightily. More meditation might materialize many more
m-made mental meanderings.

SOUL SUBLIME
Spirit sees spirit surely. Spirit shuns sensuous symbols,
shibboleths, signs, sins. Spirit seeks serenity, sociability, salvation,
supreme spiritual standards, splendid sympathy, starlike success.
Sin, sensuality, sear, singe, scorch, send suffering, sorrow, sadness.
Spirit, soul, soaring supremely, senses slumber soundly. Senses
sleep, spirit solves. Soul subjects senses securely—sight, sound,
smell, space—storing spirit secrets, sweet sounds, soulful sympathy.
Spirit sends soul starward seeking spirit’s shoreless, shining seas
sublimely serene. Soul survives sense’s subjugation. Soul seeks
successful solutions such staggerers as syncopation, syncretism,
syndicalism, symbiosis, symmetricalism, synesthesia, synovitis,
syringomyelia, strumæ, stronglyidæ, strobilation, stock swindling,
solfatara, solaria, Sivaism, Shintoism, sisymbriums, siphonophora,
shunning shilly-shallying, sloppy sentimentality, slippery sneakiness,
sulky slovenliness, secret sinfulness, shekel stealing, saucy
slandering.

One might write a “Wordy Wabble on Women,” telling how “women

wheedle wary woodmen woefully in western, wild Wyoming and
Washington. Warring, waspish women wear war-paint wielding
willow wands whackingly when weary Willies wantonly waste
wages,” and so on. Or he could picture Dauntless Daniel daringly
defying Desperate Desmond. A war correspondent might have
gained fame a few years ago had he headed his German letter:
“Blatant Billy Blusteringly, Belligerently, Bellows Braggingly,” and
later he might have told how “British bulldogs beat Billy’s bragging,
brutal, bullying battalions; beneficently, benignly, beautifully backing
beleaguered Belgium’s bruised, but brave batteries. Billy bemoaned
beaten battalions, but Bulldog Britain beamed benignly, bantering
Billy’s Brunswick backers, bagging Billy’s belongings, bogging Billy’s
boasted bootsteps. Britain’s bulldogs made bragging, boasting Billy
bow bendingly before bully belligerents.”
Let not the intellectual student deem this kind of exercise too
frivolous. It will be of far greater benefit to him than he is aware,
especially if he will read and reread his alliterations, with clear
understanding, in accordance with the principles laid down in the
earlier part of Chapter I.
Of a different type, but equally useful as exercises in composition,
and intelligent and carefully articulated reading, are such
compositions as the following. Let the student try to make up
something of the kind descriptive of a battle, a rainstorm, an
earthquake, etc.