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100% found this document useful (2 votes)
9 views

(eBook PDF) Introduction to Programming Using Python An 1 instant download

The document is a resource for learning programming using Python, covering essential topics such as problem-solving, program development, and core programming concepts. It includes structured chapters with exercises, programming projects, and additional resources for both students and instructors. The text emphasizes good programming practices and provides insights into the applications of computers.

Uploaded by

vsofdxgoh2433
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Contents

Guide to VideoNotes iii

Guide to Application Topics v

Preface xi

Acknowledgments xv

Chapter 1 An Introduction to Computing


and Problem Solving 1
1.1 An Introduction to Computing and Python 2
1.2 Program Development Cycle 4
1.3 Programming Tools 6
1.4 An Introduction to Python 13

Chapter 2 Core Objects, Variables, Input,


and Output 23
2.1 Numbers 24
2.2 Strings 35
2.3 Output 49
2.4 Lists, Tuples, and Files–An Introduction 58

Key Terms and Concepts 71

Programming Projects 74

Chapter 3 Structures That Control Flow 77


3.1 Relational and Logical Operators 78
3.2 Decision Structures 89
3.3 The while Loop 105
vii
viii ◆ Contents  

3.4 The for Loop 118

Key Terms and Concepts 137

Programming Projects 139

Chapter 4 Functions 143


4.1 Functions, Part 1 144
4.2 Functions, Part 2 164
4.3 Program Design 182

Key Terms and Concepts 186

Programming Projects 188

Chapter 5 Processing Data 191


5.1 Processing Data, Part 1 192
5.2 Processing Data, Part 2 207
5.3 Dictionaries 221

Key Terms and Concepts 235

Programming Projects 238

Chapter 6 Miscellaneous Topics 243


6.1 Exception Handling 244
6.2 Selecting Random Values 251
6.3 Turtle Graphics 257
6.4 Recursion 269

Key Terms and Concepts 277

Programming Projects 278


  Contents ◆ ix

Chapter 7 Object-Oriented Programming 281


7.1 Classes and Objects 282
7.2 Inheritance 295

Key Terms and Concepts 307

Programming Projects 308

Chapter 8 Graphical User Interface 311


8.1 Widgets 312
8.2 The Grid Geometry Manager 325
8.3 Writing GUI Programs 334

Key Terms and Concepts 343

Programming Projects 345

Appendices
Appendix A ASCII Values 349
Appendix B Reserved Words 351
Appendix C Installing Python and IDLE 353

Answers 355

Index 405
This page intentionally left blank
Preface

S ince its introduction in the 1990s, Python has become one of the most widely used
programming languages in the software industry. Also, students learning their first
programming language find Python the ideal tool to understand the development of
computer programs.
My objectives when writing this text were as follows:
1. To develop focused chapters. Rather than covering many topics superficially,
I concentrate on important subjects and cover them thoroughly.
2. To use examples and exercises with which students can relate, appreciate, and feel
comfortable. I frequently use real data. Examples do not have so many embel-
lishments that students are distracted from the programming techniques
illustrated.
3. To produce compactly written text that students will find both readable and informa-
tive. The main points of each topic are discussed first and then the peripheral
details are presented as comments.
4. To teach good programming practices that are in step with modern programming
methodology. Problem-solving techniques, structured programming, and
object-oriented programming are thoroughly discussed.
5. To provide insights into the major applications of computers.

Unique and Distinguishing Features


Programming Projects. Beginning with Chapter 2, every chapter contains programming
projects. The programming projects reflect the variety of ways that computers are
used. The large number and range of difficulty of the programming projects pro-
vide the flexibility to adapt the course to the interests and abilities of the students.
Some programming projects in later chapters can be assigned as end-of-the-semester
projects.
Exercises for Most Sections. Each section that teaches programming has an exercise
set. The exercises both reinforce the understanding of the key ideas of the section
and challenge the student to explore applications. Most of the exercise sets require
the student to trace programs, find errors, and write programs. The answers to every
odd-numbered exercise in the book, with the exception of Section 6.3 (Turtle Graph-
ics) and Chapter 8 (Graphical User Interface), are given at the end of the text. (The
answers to every other odd-numbered exercise from Section 6.3 are given. The Stu-
dent Solutions Manual contains the answer to every odd-numbered exercise in the
book.) A possible output accompanies nearly every programming exercise and pro-
gramming project.
Practice Problems. Practice Problems are carefully selected exercises located at the end
of a section, just before the exercise set. Complete solutions are given following the
exercise set. The practice problems often focus on points that are potentially confusing

xi
xii ◆ Preface 

or are best appreciated after the student has thought about them. The reader should
seriously attempt the practice problems and study their solutions before moving on
to the exercises.
Comments. Extensions and fine points of new topics are deferred to the “Comments”
portion at the end of each section so that they will not interfere with the flow of the
presentation.
Key Terms and Concepts. In Chapters 2 through 8, the key terms and concepts (along
with examples) are summarized at the end of the chapter.
Guide to Application Topics. This section provides an index of programs that deal
with various topics including Business, Economics, Mathematics, and Sports.
VideoNotes. Twenty-four VideoNotes are available at www.pearsonhighered.com/
schneider. VideoNotes are Pearson’s visual tool designed for teaching key program-
ming concepts and techniques. VideoNote icons are placed in the margin of the text
book to notify the reader when a topic is discussed in a video. Also, a Guide to Video
Notes summarizing the different videos throughout the text is included.
Solution Manuals. The Student Solutions Manual contains the answer to every odd-
numbered exercise (not including programming projects). The Instructor Solutions
Manual contains the answer to every exercise and programming project. Both solu-
tion manuals are in pdf format and can be downloaded from the Publisher’s website.
Source Code and Data Files. The programs for all examples and the data files needed
for the exercises can be downloaded from the Publisher’s website.

How to Access Instructor and Student Resource


Materials
Online Practice and Assessment with MyProgrammingLab™
MyProgrammingLab helps students fully grasp the logic, semantics, and syntax of
programming. Through practice exercises and immediate, personalized feedback,
MyProgrammingLab improves the programming competence of beginning students
who often struggle with the basic concepts and paradigms of popular high-level pro-
gramming languages.
A self-study and homework tool, a MyProgrammingLab course consists of hun-
dreds of small practice problems organized around the structure of this textbook. For
students, the system automatically detects errors in the logic and syntax of their code
submissions and offers targeted hints that enable students to figure out what went
wrong—and why. For instructors, a comprehensive gradebook tracks correct and
incorrect answers and stores the code inputted by students for review.
For a full demonstration, to see feedback from instructors and students, or to
get started using MyProgrammingLab in your course, visit www.myprogramminglab
.com.

Instructor Resources
The following protected instructor resource materials are available on the Publisher’s
website at www.pearsonhighered.com/schneider. For username and password infor-
mation, please contact your local Pearson representative.
  Preface  ◆ xiii

• Test Item File


• PowerPoint Lecture Slides
• Instructor Solutions Manual
• VideoNotes
• Programs for all examples and answers to exercises and programming projects
(Data files needed for the exercises are included in the Programs folder.)

Student Resources
Access to the Premium website and VideoNotes tutorials is located at www
.pearsonhighered.com/schneider. Students must use the access card located in the
front of the book to register and access the online material. If there is no access
card in the front of this textbook, students can purchase access by going to www
.­pearsonhighered.com/schneider and selecting “purchase access to premium con-
tent.” Instructors must register on the site to access the material.
The following content is available through the Premium website:
• VideoNotes
• Student Solutions Manual
• Programs for examples (Data files needed for the exercises are included in the
Programs folder.)
This page intentionally left blank
Acknowledgments

M any talented instructors and programmers provided helpful comments and


constructive suggestions during the writing of this text and I am most grateful
for their contributions. The book benefited greatly from the valuable comments of
the following reviewers:
Daniel Solarek, University of Toledo
David M. Reed, Capital University
Debraj De, Georgia State
Desmond Chun, Chabot College
Mark Coffey, Colorado School of Mines
Randall Alexander, College of Charleston
Vineyak Tanksale, Ball State University
Zhi Wei, New Jersey Institute of Technology
Many people are involved in the successful publication of a book. I wish to thank
the dedicated team at Pearson whose support and diligence made this textbook pos-
sible, especially Carole Snyder, Program Manager for Computer Science, Kelsey
Loanes, Editorial Assistant for Computer Science, and Scott Disanno, Team Lead
Product Management.
I would like to thank Jacob Saina for his assistance with every stage in the writing
of the book. Production Editors Pavithra Jayapaul and Greg Dulles did a ­fantastic
job producing the book and keeping it on schedule. I am grateful to John Russo of
the Wentworth Institute of Technology for producing the VideoNotes, to Dr. Kathy
Liszka of the University of Akron for producing the test bank, and to Dr. Steve
­Armstrong of LeTourneau University for producing the PowerPoint slides that
accompany the book. The competence and graciousness of Shylaja Gattupalli at
Jouve India made for a pleasant production process.
I extend special thanks to my editor Tracy Johnson. Her ideas and enthusiasm
helped immensely with the preparation of the book.
David I. Schneider
dis@alum.mit.edu

xv
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1
An Introduction to
­Computing and Problem
Solving
1.1 An Introduction to Computing and Python 2

1.2 Program Development Cycle 4


◆ Performing a Task on the Computer ◆ Program Planning
1.3 Programming Tools 6
◆ Flowcharts ◆ Pseudocode ◆ Hierarchy Chart ◆ Decision Structure
◆ Direction of Numbered NYC Streets Algorithm ◆ Repetition Structure

◆ Class Average Algorithm

1.4 An Introduction to Python 13


◆ Starting IDLE ◆ A Python Shell Walkthrough
◆ A Python Code Editor Walkthrough ◆ An ­Open-​­a-​­Program Walkthrough

1
2 ◆ Chapter 1 An Introduction to ­Computing and Problem Solving

1.1 An Introduction to Computing and Python


An Introduction to Programming Using Python is about problem solving using computers.
The programming language used is Python, but the principles apply to most modern pro-
gramming languages. Many of the examples and exercises illustrate how computers are
used in the real world. Here are some questions that you may have about computers and
programming.

Question: How do we communicate with the computer?


Answer: Programming languages are used to communicate with the computer. At the low-
est level, there is machine language, which is understood directly by the microprocessor
but is difficult for humans to understand. Python is an example of a ­high-​­level language. It
consists of instructions to which people can relate, such as print, if, and input. Some other
­well-​­known ­high-​­level languages are Java, C++, and Visual Basic.

Question: How do we get computers to perform complicated tasks?


Answer: Tasks are broken down into a sequence of instructions, called a program, that
can be expressed in a programming language. Programs can range in size from two or three
instructions to millions of instructions. The process of executing the instructions is called
running the program.

Question: Why did you decide to use Python as the programming language?
Answer: Many people consider Python to be the best language to teach beginners how to
program. We agree. Also, Python is being used by major software companies. Python is
powerful, easy to write and read, easy to download and install, and it runs under Windows,
Mac, and Linux operating systems.

Question: How did the language Python get its name?


Answer: It is named for the British comedy group Monty Python. Python’s creator, Guido
van Rossum, is a fan of the group.

Question: This book uses the editor IDLE to create programs. How did IDLE get its name?
Answer: Idle stands for Integrated DeveLopment Environment. (Some people think the
name was chosen as a tribute to Eric Idle, a founding member of the Monty Python group.)
The IDLE editor has many features (such as color coding and formatting assistance) that
help the programmer.

Question: Python is referred to as an interpreted language. What is an interpreted language?


Answer: An interpreted language uses a program called an interpreter that translates a ­high-​
­level language one statement at a time into machine language and then runs the program.
The ­interpreter will spot several types of errors and terminate the program when one is
encountered.

Question: What are the meanings of the terms “programmer” and “user”?
Answer: A programmer (also called a developer) is a person who solves problems by writing
programs on a computer. After analyzing the problem and developing a plan for solving it,
the programmer writes and tests the program that instructs the computer how to carry out
the plan. The program might be run many times, either by the programmer or by others.
A user is any person who runs the program. While working through this text, you will
function both as a programmer and as a user.
1.1   An Introduction to Computing and Python ◆ 3

Question: What is the meaning of the term “code”?


Answer: The Python instructions that the programmer writes are called code. The pro-
cesses of writing a program is often called coding.

Question: Are there certain characteristics that all programs have in common?
Answer: Most programs do three things: take in data, manipulate data, and produce results.
These operations are referred to as input, processing, and output. The input data might be
held in the program, reside on a disk, or be provided by the user in response to requests
made by the computer while the program is running. The processing of the input data
occurs inside the computer and can take from a fraction of a second to many hours. The
output data are displayed on a monitor, printed on a printer, or recorded on a disk. As a
simple example, consider a program that computes sales tax. An item of input data is the
cost of the thing purchased. The processing consists of multiplying the cost by the sales
tax rate. The output data is the resulting product, the amount of sales tax to be paid.

Question: What are the meanings of the terms “hardware” and “software”?
Answer: Hardware refers to the physical components of the computer, including all periph-
erals, the central processing unit (CPU), disk drives, and all mechanical and electrical
devices. Programs are referred to as software.

Question: How are problems solved with a program?


Answer: Problems are solved by carefully reading them to determine what data are given
and what outputs are requested. Then a ­step-​­by-​­step procedure is devised to process the
given data and produce the requested output.

Question: Many programming languages, including Python, use a ­zero-​­based numbering system.
What is a ­zero-​­based numbering system?
Answer: In a ­zero-​­based numbering system, numbering begins with zero instead of one. For
example, in the word “code”, “c” would be the zeroth letter, “o” would be the first letter,
and so on.

Question: Are there any prerequisites to learning Python?


Answer: You should be familiar with how folders (also called directories) and files are managed
on your computer. Files reside on storage devices such as hard disks, USB flash drives, CDs,
and DVDs. Traditionally, the primary storage devices for personal computers were hard disks
and floppy disks. Therefore, the word disk is frequently used to refer to any storage device.

Question: What is an example of a program developed in this textbook?


Answer: Figure 1.1 shows a possible output of a program from Chapter 3. When it is first
run, the statement “Enter a first name:” appears. After the user types in a first name and

Enter a first name: James


James Madison
James Monroe
James Polk
James Buchanan
James Garfield
James Carter

Figure 1.1 A possible output for a program in Chapter 3.


4 ◆ Chapter 1 An Introduction to ­Computing and Problem Solving

presses the Enter (or return) key, the names of the presidents who have that first name are
displayed.

Question: How does the programmer create the aforementioned program?


Answer: For this program, the programmer writes about 10 lines of code that search a text
file named USpres.txt, and extracts the requested names.

Question: What conventions are used to show keystrokes?


Answer: The combination key1+key2 means “hold down key1 and then press key2”. The
combination Ctrl+C places selected material into the Clipboard. The combination key1/
key2 means “press and release key1, and then press key2”. The combination Alt/F opens
the File menu on a menu bar.

Question: How can the programs for the examples in this textbook be obtained?
Answer: See the preface for information on how to download the programs from the
­Pearson website.

Question: Where will new programs be saved?


Answer: Before writing your first program, you should create a special folder to hold your
programs.

1.2 Program Development Cycle


We learned in Section 1.1 that hardware refers to the machinery in a computer system (such
as the monitor, keyboard, and CPU) and software refers to a collection of instructions,
called a program, that directs the hardware. Programs are written to solve problems or
perform tasks on a computer. Programmers translate the solutions or tasks into a language
the computer can understand. As we write programs, we must keep in mind that the com-
puter will do only what we instruct it to do. Because of this, we must be very careful and
thorough when writing our instructions.

■■ Performing a Task on the Computer


The first step in writing instructions to carry out a task is to determine what the output
should ­be—​­that is, exactly what the task should produce. The second step is to identify the
data, or input, necessary to obtain the output. The last step is to determine how to process
the input to obtain the desired o ­ utput—​­that is, to determine what formulas or ways of
doing things should be used to obtain the output.
This ­problem-​­solving approach is the same as that used to solve word problems in an
algebra class. For example, consider the following algebra problem:
How fast is a car moving if it travels 50 miles in 2 hours?
The first step is to determine the type of answer requested. The answer should be a num-
ber giving the speed in miles per hour (the output). The information needed to obtain the
answer is the distance and time the car has traveled (the input). The formula
speed = distance/time

is used to process the distance traveled and the time elapsed in order to determine the
speed. That is,
1.2   Program Development Cycle ◆ 5

speed = 50 miles/2 hours


= 25 miles per hour

A graphical representation of this ­problem-​­solving process is shown in Fig. 1.2.

+PRWV 2TQEGUUKPI 1WVRWV

Figure 1.2 The ­problem-​­solving process.

We determine what we want as output, get the needed input, and process the input to
produce the desired output.
In the chapters that follow, we discuss how to write programs to carry out the preceding
operations. But first we look at the general process of writing programs.

■■ Program Planning
A baking recipe provides a good example of a plan. The ingredients and the amounts are
determined by what is to be baked. That is, the output determines the input and the process-
ing. The recipe, or plan, reduces the number of mistakes you might make if you tried to
bake with no plan at all. Although it’s difficult to imagine an architect building a bridge or
a factory without a detailed plan, many programmers (particularly students in their first
programming course) try to write programs without first making a careful plan. The more
complicated the problem, the more complex the plan must be. You will spend much less
time working on a program if you devise a carefully thought out ­step-​­by-​­step plan and test
it before actually writing the program.
Many programmers plan their programs using a sequence of steps, referred to as the
Software Development Life Cycle. The following s­ tep-​­by-​­step process will enable you to use
your time efficiently and help you design e­ rror-​­free programs that produce the desired output.

1. Analyze: Define the problem.


Be sure you understand what the program should ­do—​­that is, what the output should
be. Have a clear idea of what data (or input) are given and the relationship between the
input and the desired output.
2. Design: Plan the solution to the problem.
Find a logical sequence of precise steps that solve the problem. Such a sequence of
steps is called an algorithm. Every detail, including obvious steps, should appear in
the algorithm. In the next section, we discuss three popular methods used to develop
the logic plan: flowcharts, pseudocode, and hierarchy charts. These tools help the pro-
grammer break a problem into a sequence of small tasks the computer can perform to
solve the problem. Planning also involves using representative data to test the logic of
the algorithm by hand to ensure that it is correct.
3. Code: Translate the algorithm into a programming language.
Coding is the technical word for writing the program. During this stage, the program is
written in Python and entered into the computer. The programmer uses the algorithm
devised in Step 2 along with a knowledge of Python.
4. Test and correct: Locate and remove any errors in the program.
Testing is the process of finding errors in a program. (An error in a program is called
a bug and testing and correcting is often referred to as debugging.) As the program is
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those that are robust enough to hedge and ditch, plow and thrash, or else not
too much enervated to be smiths, carpenters, sawyers, cloth-workers,
porters or carmen, will always be strong and hardy enough in a campaign or
two to make good soldiers, who, where good orders are kept, have seldom
so much plenty and superfluity come to their share, as to do them any hurt.

The mischief, then, to be feared from luxury among the people of war,
cannot extend itself beyond the officers. The greatest of them are either men
of a very high birth and princely education, or else extraordinary parts, and
no less experience; and whoever is made choice of by a wise government to
command an army en chef, should have a consummate knowledge in
martial affairs, intrepidity to keep him calm in the midst of danger, and
many other qualifications that must be the work of time and application, on
men of a quick penetration, a distinguished genius, and a world of honour.
Strong sinews and supple joints are trifling advantages, not regarded in
persons of their reach and grandeur, that can destroy cities a-bed, and ruin
whole countries while they are at dinner. As they are most commonly men
of great age, it would be ridiculous to expect a hale constitution and agility
of limbs from them: So their heads be but active and well furnished, it is no
great matter what the rest of their bodies are. If they cannot bear the fatigue
of being on horseback, they may ride in coaches, or be carried in litters.
Mens conduct and sagacity are never the less for their being cripples, and
the best general the king of France has now, can hardly crawl along. Those
that are immediately under the chief commanders must be very nigh of the
same abilities, and are generally men that have raised themselves to those
posts by their merit. The other officers are all of them in their several
stations obliged to lay out so large a share of their pay in fine clothes,
accoutrements, and other things, by the luxury of the times called necessary,
that they can spare but little money for debauches; for, as they are
advanced, and their salaries raised, so they are likewise forced to increase
their expences and their equipages, which, as well as every thing else, must
still be proportionable to their quality: by which means, the greatest part of
them are in a manner hindered from those excesses that might be
destructive to health; while their luxury thus turned another way, serves,
moreover, to heighten their pride and vanity, the greatest motives to make
them behave themselves like what they would be thought to be (See
Remark on l. 321).

There is nothing refines mankind more than love and honour. Those two
passions are equivalent to many virtues, and therefore the greatest schools
of breeding and good manners, are courts and armies; the first to
accomplish the women, the other to polish the men. What the generality of
officers among civilized nations affect, is a perfect knowledge of the world
and the rules of honour; an air of frankness, and humanity peculiar to
military men of experience, and such a mixture of modesty and
undauntedness, as may bespeak them both courteous and valiant. Where
good sense is fashionable, and a genteel behaviour is in esteem, gluttony
and drunkenness can be no reigning vices. What officers of distinction
chiefly aim at, is not a beastly, but a splendid way of living, and the wishes
of the most luxurious, in their several degrees of quality, are to appear
handsomely, and excel each other in finery of equipage, politeness of
entertainments, and the reputation of a judicious fancy in every thing about
them.

But if there should be more dissolute reprobates among officers, than there
are among men of other professions, which is not true, yet the most
debauched of them may be very serviceable, if they have but a great share
of honour. It is this that covers and makes up for a multitude of defects in
them, and it is this that none (how abandoned soever they are to pleasure)
dare pretend to be without. But as there is no argument so convincing as
matter of fact, let us look back on what so lately happened in our two last
wars with France. How many puny young striplings have we had in our
armies, tenderly educated, nice in their dress, and curious in their diet, that
underwent all manner of duties with gallantry and cheerfulness?

Those that have such dismal apprehensions of luxury’s enervating and


effeminating people, might, in Flanders and Spain have seen embroidered
beaux with fine laced shirts and powdered wigs stand as much fire, and lead
up to the mouth of a cannon, with as little concern as it was possible for the
most stinking slovens to have done in their own hair, though it had not been
combed in a month, and met with abundance of wild rakes, who had
actually impaired their healths, and broke their constitutions with excesses
of wine and women, that yet behaved themselves with conduct and bravery
against their enemies. Robustness is the least thing required in an officer,
and if sometimes strength is of use, a firm resolution of mind, which the
hopes of preferment, emulation, and the love of glory inspire them with,
will at a push supply the place of bodily force.

Those that understand their business, and have a sufficient sense of honour,
as soon as they are used to danger will always be capable officers: and their
luxury, as long as they spend nobody’s money but their own, will never be
prejudicial to a nation.

By all which, I think, I have proved what I designed in this remark on


luxury. First, that in one sense every thing may be called so, and in another
there is no such thing. Secondly, that with a wise administration all people
may swim in as much foreign luxury as their product can purchase, without
being impoverished by it. And, lastly, that where military affairs are taken
care of as they ought, and the soldiers well paid and kept in good discipline,
a wealthy nation may live in all the ease and plenty imaginable; and in
many parts of it, show as much pomp and delicacy, as human wit can
invent, and at the same time be formidable to their neighbours, and come up
to the character of the bees in the fable, of which I said, that

Flatter’d in peace, and fear’d in wars,


They were th’ esteem of foreigners;
And lavish of their wealth and lives,
The balance of all other hives.

(See what is farther said concerning luxury in the Remarks on line 182 and
307.)
Line 182. And odious pride a million more.

Pride is that natural faculty by which every mortal that has any
understanding over-values, and imagines better things of himself than any
impartial judge, thoroughly acquainted with all his qualities and
circumstances, could allow him. We are possessed of no other quality so
beneficial to society, and so necessary to render it wealthy and flourishing
as this, yet it is that which is most generally detested. What is very peculiar
to this faculty of ours, is, that those who are the fullest of it, are the least
willing to connive at it in others; whereas the heinousness of other vices is
the most extenuated by those who are guilty of them themselves. The chaste
man hates fornication, and drunkenness is most abhorred by the temperate;
but none are so much offended at their neighbour’s pride, as the proudest of
all; and if any one can pardon it, it is the most humble: from which, I think,
we may justly infer, that it being odious to all the world, is a certain sign
that all the world is troubled with it. This all men of sense are ready to
confess, and nobody denies but that he has pride in general. But, if you
come to particulars, you will meet with few that will own any action you
can name of theirs to have proceeded from that principle. There are likewise
many who will allow, that among the sinful nations of the times, pride and
luxury are the great promoters of trade, but they refuse to own the necessity
there is, that in a more virtuous age (such a one as should be free from
pride), trade would in a great measure decay.
The Almighty, they say, has endowed us with the dominion over all things
which the earth and sea produce or contain; there is nothing to be found in
either, but what was made for the use of man; and his skill and industry
above other animals were given him, that he might render both them and
every thing else within the reach of his senses, more serviceable to him.
Upon this consideration they think it impious to imagine, that humility,
temperance, and other virtues should debar people from the enjoyment of
those comforts of life, which are not denied to the most wicked nations; and
so conclude, that without pride or luxury, the same things might be eat,
wore, and consumed; the same number of handicrafts and artificers
employed, and a nation be every way as flourishing as where those vices
are the most predominant.

As to wearing apparel in particular, they will tell you, that pride, which
sticks much nearer to us than our clothes, is only lodged in the heart, and
that rags often conceal a greater portion of it than the most pompous attire;
and that as it cannot be denied but that there have always been virtuous
princes, who, with humble hearts, have wore their splendid diadems, and
swayed their envied sceptres, void of ambition, for the good of others; so it
is very probable, that silver and gold brocades, and the richest embroideries
may, without a thought of pride, be wore by many whose quality and
fortune are suitable to them. May not (say they) a good man of
extraordinary revenues, make every year a greater variety of suits than it is
possible he should wear out, and yet have no other ends than to set the poor
at work, to encourage trade, and by employing many, to promote the
welfare of his country? And considering food and raiment to be necessaries,
and the two chief articles to which all our worldly cares are extended, why
may not all mankind set aside a considerable part of their income for the
one as well as the other, without the least tincture of pride? Nay, is not
every member of the society in a manner obliged, according to his ability, to
contribute toward the maintenance of that branch of trade on which the
whole has so great a dependence? Besides that, to appear decently is a
civility, and often a duty, which, without any regard to ourselves, we owe to
those we converse with.
These are the objections generally made use of by haughty moralists, who
cannot endure to hear the dignity of their species arraigned; but if we look
narrowly into them, they may soon be answered.

If we had vices, I cannot see why any man should ever make more suits
than he has occasion for, though he was never so desirous of promoting the
good of the nation: for, though in the wearing of a well-wrought silk, rather
than a slight stuff, and the preferring curious fine cloth to coarse, he had no
other view but the setting of more people to work, and consequently the
public welfare, yet he could consider clothes no otherwise than lovers of
their country do taxes now; they may pay them with alacrity, but nobody
gives more than his due; especially where all are justly rated according to
their abilities, as it could no otherwise be expected in a very virtuous age.
Besides, that in such golden times nobody would dress above his condition,
nobody pinch his family, cheat or over reach his neighbour to purchase
finery, and consequently there would not be half the consumption, nor a
third part of the people employed as now there are. But, to make this more
plain, and demonstrate, that for the support of trade there can be nothing
equivalent to pride, I shall examine the several views men have in outward
apparel, and set forth what daily experience may teach every body as to
dress.

Clothes were originally made for two ends, to hide our nakedness, and to
fence our bodies against the weather, and other outward injuries: to these
our boundless pride has added a third, which is ornament; for what else but
an excess of stupid vanity, could have prevailed upon our reason to fancy
that ornamental, which must continually put us in mind of our wants and
misery, beyond all other animals that are ready clothed by nature herself? It
is indeed to be admired how so sensible a creature as man, that pretends to
so many fine qualities of his own, should condescend to value himself upon
what is robbed from so innocent and defenceless an animal as a sheep, or
what he is beholden for to the most insignificant thing upon earth, a dying
worm; yet while he is proud of such trifling depredations, he has the folly to
laugh at the Hottentots on the furthest promontory of Afric, who adorn
themselves with the guts of their dead enemies, without considering that
they are the ensigns of their valour those barbarians are fine with, the true
spolia opima, and that if their pride be more savage than ours, it is certainly
less ridiculous, because they wear the spoils of the more noble animal.

But whatever reflections may be made on this head, the world has long
since decided the matter; handsome apparel is a main point, fine feathers
make fine birds, and people, where they are not known, are generally
honoured according to their clothes and other accoutrements they have
about them; from the richness of them we judge of their wealth, and by their
ordering of them we guess at their understanding. It is this which
encourages every body, who is conscious of his little merit, if he is any
ways able to wear clothes above his rank, especially in large and populous
cities, where obscure men may hourly meet with fifty strangers to one
acquaintance, and consequently have the pleasure of being esteemed by a
vast majority, not as what they are, but what they appear to be: which is a
greater temptation than most people want to be vain.

Whoever takes delight in viewing the various scenes of low life, may, on
Easter, Whitsun, and other great holidays, meet with scores of people,
especially women, of almost the lowest rank, that wear good and
fashionable clothes: if coming to talk with them, you treat them more
courteously and with greater respect than what they are conscious they
deserve, they will commonly be ashamed of owning what they are; and
often you may, if you are a little inquisitive, discover in them a most
anxious care to conceal the business they follow, and the place they live in.
The reason is plain; while they receive those civilities that are not usually
paid them, and which they think only due to their betters, they have the
satisfaction to imagine, that they appear what they would be, which, to
weak minds, is a pleasure almost as substantial as they could reap from the
very accomplishments of their wishes: this golden dream they are unwilling
to be disturbed in, and being sure that the meanness of their condition, if it
is known, must sink them very low in your opinion, they hug themselves in
their disguise, and take all imaginable precaution not to forfeit, by a useless
discovery, the esteem which they flatter themselves that their good clothes
have drawn from you.
Though every body allows, that as to apparel and manner of living, we
ought to behave ourselves suitable to our conditions, and follow the
examples of the most sensible, and prudent among our equals in rank and
fortune: yet how few, that are not either miserably covetous, or else proud
of singularity, have this discretion to boast of? We all look above ourselves,
and, as fast as we can, strive to imitate those that some way or other are
superior to us.

The poorest labourer’s wife in the parish, who scorns to wear a strong
wholesome frize, as she might, will half starve herself and her husband to
purchase a second-hand gown and petticoat, that cannot do her half the
service; because, forsooth, it is more genteel. The weaver, the shoemaker,
the tailor, the barber, and every mean working fellow, that can set up with
little, has the impudence, with the first money he gets, to dress himself like
a tradesman of substance: the ordinary retailer in the clothing of his wife,
takes pattern from his neighbour, that deals in the same commodity by
wholesale, and the reason he gives for it is, that twelve years ago the other
had not a bigger shop than himself. The druggist, mercer, draper, and other
creditable shopkeepers, can find no difference between themselves and
merchants, and therefore dress and live like them. The merchant’s lady, who
cannot bear the assurance of those mechanics, flies for refuge to the other
end of the town, and scorns to follow any fashion but what she takes from
thence; this haughtiness alarms the court, the women of quality are
frightened to see merchants wives and daughters dressed like themselves:
this impudence of the city, they cry, is intolerable; mantua-makers are sent
for, and the contrivance of fashions becomes all their study, that they may
have always new modes ready to take up, as soon as those saucy cits shall
begin to imitate those in being. The same emulation is continued through
the several degrees of quality, to an incredible expence, till at last the
prince’s great favourites and those of the first rank of all, having nothing
left to outstrip some of their inferiors, are forced to lay out vast estates in
pompous equipages, magnificent furniture, sumptuous gardens, and
princely palaces.

To this emulation and continual striving to out-do one another it is owing,


that after so many various shiftings and changes of modes, in trumping up
new ones, and renewing of old ones, there is still a plus ultra left for the
ingenious; it is this, or at least the consequence of it, that sets the poor to
work, adds spurs to industry, and encourages the skilful artificer to search
after further improvements.

It may be objected, that many people of good fashion, who have been used
to be well dressed, out of custom, wear rich clothes with all the indifferency
imaginable, and that the benefit to trade accruing from them cannot be
ascribed to emulation or pride. To this I answer, that it is impossible, that
those who trouble their heads so little with their dress, could ever have wore
those rich clothes, if both the stuffs and fashions had not been first invented
to gratify the vanity of others, who took greater delight in fine apparel, than
they; besides that every body is not without pride that appears to be so; all
the symptoms of that vice are not easily discovered; they are manifold, and
vary according to the age, humour, circumstances, and often constitution of
the people.

The choleric city captain seems impatient to come to action, and expressing
his warlike genius by the firmness of his steps, makes his pike, for want of
enemies, tremble at the valour of his arm: his martial finery, as he marches
along, inspires him with an unusual elevation of mind, by which,
endeavouring to forget his shop as well as himself, he looks up at the
balconies with the fierceness of a Saracen conqueror: while the phlegmatic
alderman, now become venerable both for his age and his authority,
contents himself with being thought a considerable man; and knowing no
easier way to express his vanity, looks big in his coach, where being known
by his paultry livery, he receives, in sullen state, the homage that is paid
him by the meaner sort of people.

The beardless ensign counterfeits a gravity above his years, and with
ridiculous assurance strives to imitate the stern countenance of his colonel,
flattering himself, all the while, that by his daring mien you will judge of
his prowess. The youthful fair, in a vast concern of being overlooked, by the
continual changing of her posture, betrays a violent desire of being
observed, and catching, as it were, at every body’s eyes, courts with
obliging looks the admiration of her beholders. The conceited coxcomb, on
the contrary, displaying an air of sufficiency, is wholly taken up with the
contemplation of his own perfections, and in public places discovers such a
disregard to others, that the ignorant must imagine, he thinks himself to be
alone.

These, and such like, are all manifest, though different tokens of pride, that
are obvious to all the world; but man’s vanity is not always so soon found
out. When we perceive an air of humanity, and men seem not to be
employed in admiring themselves, nor altogether unmindful of others, we
are apt to pronounce them void of pride, when, perhaps, they are only
fatigued with gratifying their vanity, and become languid from a satiety of
enjoyments. That outward show of peace within, and drowsy composure of
careless negligence, with which a great man is often seen in his plain
chariot to loll at ease, are not always so free from art, as they may seem to
be. Nothing is more ravishing to the proud, than to be thought happy.

The well-bred gentleman places his greatest pride in the skill he has of
covering it with dexterity, and some are so expert in concealing this frailty,
that when they are the most guilty of it, the vulgar think them the most
exempt from it. Thus the dissembling courtier, when he appears in state,
assumes an air of modesty and good humour; and while he is ready to burst
with vanity, seems to be wholly ignorant of his greatness; well knowing,
that those lovely qualities must heighten him in the esteem of others, and be
an addition to that grandeur, which the coronets about his coach and
harnesses, with the rest of his equipage, cannot fail to proclaim without his
assistance.

And as in these, pride is overlooked, because industriously concealed, so in


others again, it is denied that they have any, when they show (or at least
seem to show) it in the most public manner. The wealthy parson being, as
well as the rest of his profession, debarred from the gaiety of laymen,
makes it his business to look out for an admirable black, and the finest cloth
that money can purchase, and distinguishes himself by the fullness of his
noble and spotless garment; his wigs are as fashionable as that form he is
forced to comply with will admit of; but as he is only stinted in their shape,
so he takes care that for goodness of hair, and colour, few noblemen shall be
able to match him; his body is ever clean, as well as his clothes, his sleek
face is kept constantly shaved, and his handsome nails are diligently pared;
his smooth white hand, and a brilliant of the first water, mutually becoming,
honour each other with double graces; what linen he discovers is
transparently curious, and he scorns ever to be seen abroad with a worse
beaver than what a rich banker would be proud of on his wedding-day; to
all these niceties in dress he adds a majestic gait, and expresses a
commanding loftiness in his carriage; yet common civility, notwithstanding,
the evidence of so many concurring symptoms, will not allow us to suspect
any of his actions to be the result of pride: considering the dignity of his
office, it is only decency in him, what would be vanity in others; and in
good manners to his calling we ought to believe, that the worthy gentleman,
without any regard to his reverend person, puts himself to all this trouble
and expence, merely out of a respect which is due to the divine order he
belongs to, and a religious zeal to preserve his holy function from the
contempt of scoffers. With all my heart; nothing of all this shall be called
pride, let me only be allowed to say, that to our human capacities it looks
very like it.

But if at last I should grant, that there are men who enjoy all the fineries of
equipage and furniture, as well as clothes, and yet have no pride in them; it
is certain, that if all should be such, that emulation I spoke of before must
cease, and consequently trade, which has so great a dependence upon it,
suffer in every branch. For to say, that if all men were truly virtuous, they
might, without any regard to themselves, consume as much out of zeal to
serve their neighbours and promote the public good, as they do now out of
self-love and emulation, is a miserable shift, and an unreasonable
supposition. As there have been good people in all ages, so, without doubt,
we are not destitute of them in this; but let us inquire of the periwig-makers
and tailors, in what gentlemen, even of the greatest wealth and highest
quality, they ever could discover such public-spirited views. Ask the
lacemen, the mercers, and the linen-drapers, whether the richest, and if you
will, the most virtuous ladies, if they buy with ready money, or intend to
pay in any reasonable time, will not drive from shop to shop, to try the
market, make as many words, and stand as hard with them to save a groat or
sixpence in a yard, as the most necessitous jilts in town. If it be urged, that
if there are not, it is possible there might be such people; I answer that it is
as possible that cats, instead of killing rats and mice, should feed them, and
go about the house to suckle and nurse their young ones; or that a kite
should call the hens to their meat, as the cock does, and sit brooding over
their chickens instead of devouring them; but if they should all do so, they
would cease to be cats and kites; it is inconsistent with their natures, and the
species of creatures which now we mean, when we name cats and kites,
would be extinct as soon as that could come to pass.
Line 183. Envy itself, and vanity,
Were ministers of industry.

Envy is that baseness in our nature, which makes us grieve and pine at what
we conceive to be a happiness in others. I do not believe there is a human
creature in his senses arrived to maturity, that at one time or other has not
been carried away by this passion in good earnest; and yet I never met with
any one that dared own he was guilty of it, but in jest. That we are so
generally ashamed of this vice, is owing to that strong habit of hypocrisy,
by the help of which, we have learned from our cradle to hide even from
ourselves the vast extent of self-love, and all its different branches. It is
impossible man should wish better for another than he does for himself,
unless where he supposes an impossibility that himself should attain to
those wishes; and from hence we may easily learn after what manner this
passion is raised in us. In order to it, we are to consider first, that as well as
we think of ourselves, so ill we think of our neighbour with equal injustice;
and when we apprehend, that others do or will enjoy what we think they do
not deserve, it afflicts and makes us angry with the cause of that
disturbance. Secondly, That we are employed in wishing well for ourselves,
every one according to his judgment and inclinations, and when we observe
something we like, and yet are destitute of, in the possession of others; it
occasions first sorrow in us for not having the thing we like. This sorrow is
incurable, while we continue our esteem for the thing we want: but as self-
defence is restless, and never suffers us to leave any means untried how to
remove evil from us, as far and as well as we are able; experience teaches
us, that nothing in nature more alleviates this sorrow, than our anger against
those who are possessed of what we esteem and want. This latter passion,
therefore, we cherish and cultivate to save or relieve ourselves, at least in
part, from the uneasiness we felt from the first.

Envy, then, is a compound of grief and anger; the degrees of this passion
depend chiefly on the nearness or remoteness of the objects, as to
circumstances. If one, who is forced to walk on foot envies a great man for
keeping a coach and six, it will never be with that violence, or give him that
disturbance which it may to a man, who keeps a coach himself, but can only
afford to drive with four horses. The symptoms of envy are as various, and
as hard to describe, as those of the plague; at some time it appears in one
shape, at others in another quite different. Among the fair, the disease is
very common, and the signs of it very conspicuous in their opinions and
censures of one another. In beautiful young women, you may often discover
this faculty to a high degree; they frequently will hate one another mortally
at first sight, from no other principle than envy; and you may read this
scorn, and unreasonable aversion, in their very countenances, if they have
not a great deal of art, and well learned to dissemble.

In the rude and unpolished multitude, this passion is very bare-faced;


especially when they envy others for the goods of fortune: They rail at their
betters, rip up their faults, and take pains to misconstrue their most
commendable actions: They murmur at Providence, and loudly complain,
that the good things of this world are chiefly enjoyed by those who do not
deserve them. The grosser sort of them it often affects so violently, that if
they were not withheld by the fear of the laws, they would go directly and
beat those their envy is levelled at, from no other provocation than what
that passion suggests to them.

The men of letters, labouring under this distemper, discover quite different
symptoms. When they envy a person for his parts and erudition, their chief
care is industriously to conceal their frailty, which generally is attempted by
denying and depreciating the good qualities they envy: They carefully
peruse his works, and are displeased with every fine passage they meet
with; they look for nothing but his errors, and wish for no greater feast than
a gross mistake: In their censures they are captious, as well as severe, make
mountains of mole-hills, and will not pardon the least shadow of a fault, but
exaggerate the most trifling omission into a capital blunder.

Envy is visible in brute-beasts; horses show it in their endeavours of


outstripping one another; and the best spirited will run themselves to death,
before they will suffer another before them. In dogs, this passion is likewise
plainly to be seen, those who are used to be caressed will never tamely bear
that felicity in others. I have seen a lap-dog that would choke himself with
victuals, rather than leave any thing for a competitor of his own kind; and
we may often observe the same behaviour in those creatures which we daily
see in infants that are froward, and by being over-fondled made
humoursome. If out of caprice they at any time refuse to eat what they have
asked for, and we can but make them believe that some body else, nay, even
the cat or the dog is going to take it from them, they will make an end of
their oughts with pleasure, and feed even against their appetite.

If envy was not rivetted in human nature, it would not be so common in


children, and youth would not be so generally spurred on by emulation.
Those who would derive every thing that is beneficial to the society from a
good principle, ascribe the effects of emulation in school-boys to a virtue of
the mind; as it requires labour and pains, so it is evident, that they commit a
self-denial, who act from that disposition; but if we look narrowly into it,
we shall find, that this sacrifice of ease and pleasure is only made to envy,
and the love of glory. If there was not something very like this passion,
mixed with that pretended virtue, it would be impossible to raise and
increase it by the same means that create envy. The boy, who receives a
reward for the superiority of his performance, is conscious of the vexation it
would have been to him, if he should have fallen short of it: This reflection
makes him exert himself, not to be outdone by those whom he looks upon
as his inferiors, and the greater his pride is, the more self-denial he will
practise to maintain his conquest. The other, who, in spite of the pains he
took to do well, has missed of the prize, is sorry, and consequently angry
with him whom he must look upon as the cause of his grief: But to show
this anger, would be ridiculous, and of no service to him, so that he must
either be contented to be less esteemed than the other boy; or, by renewing
his endeavours, become a greater proficient: and it is ten to one, but the
disinterested, good-humoured, and peaceable lad, will choose the first, and
so become indolent and inactive, while the covetous, peevish, and
quarrelsome rascal, shall take incredible pains, and make himself a
conqueror in his turn.

Envy, as it is very common among painters, so it is of great use for their


improvement: I do not mean, that little dawbers envy great masters, but
most of them are tainted with this vice against those immediately above
them. If the pupil of a famous artist is of a bright genius, and uncommon
application, he first adores his master; but as his own skill increases, he
begins insensibly to envy what he admired before. To learn the nature of
this passion, and that it consists in what I have named, we are but to
observe, that, if a painter, by exerting himself, comes not only to equal, but
to exceed the man he envied, his sorrow is gone, and all his anger disarmed;
and if he hated him before, he is now glad to be friends with him, if the
other will condescend to it.

Married women, who are guilty of this vice, which few are not, are always
endeavouring to raise the same passion in their spouses; and where they
have prevailed, envy and emulation have kept more men in bounds, and
reformed more ill husbands from sloth, from drinking, and other evil
courses, than all the sermons that have been preached since the time of the
Apostles.

As every body would be happy, enjoy pleasure, and, avoid pain, if he could,
so self-love bids us look on every creature that seems satisfied, as a rival in
happiness; and the satisfaction we have in seeing that felicity disturbed,
without any advantage to ourselves, but what springs from the pleasure we
have in beholding it, is called loving mischief for mischief’s sake; and the
motive of which that frailty is the result, malice, another offspring derived
from the same original; for if there was no envy, there could be no malice.
When the passions lie dormant, we have no apprehension of them, and
often people think they have not such a frailty in their nature, because that
moment they are not affected with it.
A gentleman well dressed, who happens to be dirtied all over by a coach or
a cart, is laughed at, and by his inferiors much more than his equals,
because they envy him more: they know he is vexed at it, and, imagining
him to be happier than themselves, they are glad to see him meet with
displeasures in his turn! But a young lady, if she be in a serious mood,
instead of laughing at, pities him, because a clean man is a sight she takes
delight in, and there is no room for envy. At disasters, we either laugh, or
pity those that befal them, according to the stock we are possessed of either
malice or compassion. If a man falls or hurts himself so slightly, that it
moves not the latter, we laugh, and here our pity and malice shake us
alternately: Indeed, Sir, I am very sorry for it, I beg your pardon for
laughing, I am the silliest creature in the world, then laugh again; and again,
I am indeed very sorry, and so on. Some are so malicious, they would laugh
if a man broke his leg, and others are so compassionate, that they can
heartily pity a man for the least spot in his clothes; but nobody is so savage
that no compassion can touch him, nor any man so good-natured, as never
to be affected with any malicious pleasure. How strangely our passions
govern us! We envy a man for being rich, and then perfectly hate him: But
if we come to be his equals, we are calm, and the least condescension in
him makes us friends; but if we become visibly superior to him, we can pity
his misfortunes. The reason why men of true good sense envy less than
others, is because they admire themselves with less hesitation than fools
and silly people; for, though they do not show this to others, yet the solidity
of their thinking gives them an assurance of their real worth, which men of
weak understanding can never feel within, though they often counterfeit it.

The ostracism of the Greeks was a sacrifice of valuable men made to


epidemic envy, and often applied as an infallible remedy to cure and
prevent the mischiefs of popular spleen and rancour. A victim of state often
appeases the murmurs of a whole nation, and after-ages frequently wonder
at barbarities of this nature, which, under the same circumstances, they
would have committed themselves. They are compliments to the people’s
malice, which is never better gratified, than when they can see a great man
humbled. We believe that we love justice, and to see merit rewarded; but if
men continue long in the first posts of honour, half of us grow weary of
them, look for their faults, and, if we can find none, we suppose they hide
them, and it is much if the greatest part of us do not wish them discarded.
This foul play, the best of men ought ever to apprehend from all who are
not their immediate friends or acquaintance, because nothing is more
tiresome to us, than the repetition of praises we have no manner of share in.

The more a passion is a compound of many others, the more difficult it is to


define it; and the more it is tormenting to those that labour under it, the
greater cruelty it is capable of inspiring them with against others: Therefore
nothing is more whimsical or mischievous than jealousy, which is made up
of love, hope, fear, and a great deal of envy: The last has been sufficiently
treated of already; and what I have to say of fear, the reader will find under
Remark on l. 321. So that the better to explain and illustrate this odd
mixture, the ingredients I shall further speak of in this place, are hope and
love.

Hoping is wishing with some degree of confidence, that the thing wished
for will come to pass. The firmness and imbecility of our hope depend
entirely on the greater or lesser degree of our confidence, and all hope
includes doubt; for when our confidence is arrived to that height, as to
exclude all doubts, it becomes a certainty, and we take for granted what we
only hoped for before. A silver inkhorn may pass in speech, because every
body knows what we mean by it, but a certain hope cannot: For a man who
makes use of an epithet that destroys the essence of the substantive he joins
it to, can have no meaning at all; and the more clearly we understand the
force of the epithet, and the nature of the substantive, the more palpable is
the nonsense of the heterogeneous compound. The reason, therefore, why it
is not so shocking to some to hear a man speak of certain hope, as if he
should talk of hot ice, or liquid oak, is not because there is less nonsense
contained in the first, than there is in either of the latter; but because the
word hope, I mean the essence of it, is not so clearly understood by the
generality of the people, as the words and essence of ice and oak are.

Love, in the first place, signifies affection, such as parents and nurses bear
to children, and friends to one another; it consists in a liking and well-
wishing to the person beloved. We give an easy construction to his words
and actions, and feel a proneness to excuse and forgive his faults, if we see
any; his interest we make on all accounts our own, even to our prejudice,
and receive an inward satisfaction for sympathising with him in his
sorrows, as well as joys. What I said last is not impossible, whatever it may
seem to be; for, when we are sincere in sharing with one another in his
misfortunes, self-love makes us believe, that the sufferings we feel must
alleviate and lessen those of our friend; and while this fond reflection is
soothing our pain, a secret pleasure arises from our grieving for the person
we love.

Secondly, by love we understand a strong inclination, in its nature distinct


from all other affections of friendship, gratitude, and consanguinity, that
persons of different sexes, after liking, bear to one another: it is in this
signification, that love enters into the compound of jealousy, and is the
effect as well as happy disguise of that passion that prompts us to labour for
the preservation of our species. This latter appetite is innate both in men and
women, who are not defective in their formation, as much as hunger or
thirst, though they are seldom affected with it before the years of puberty.
Could we undress nature, and pry into her deepest recesses, we should
discover the seeds of this passion before it exerts itself, as plainly as we see
the teeth in an embryo, before the gums are formed. There are few healthy
people of either sex, whom it has made no impression on before twenty:
yet, as the peace and happiness of the civil society require that this should
be kept a secret, never to be talked of in public; so, among well-bred
people, it is counted highly criminal to mention, before company, any thing
in plain words, that is, relating to this mystery of succession: by which
means, the very name of the appetite, though the most necessary for the
continuance of mankind, is become odious, and the proper epithets
commonly joined to lust, are filthy and abominable.

This impulse of nature in people of strict morals, and rigid modesty, often
disturbs the body for a considerable time before it is understood or known
to be what it is, and it is remarkable, that the most polished, and best
instructed, are generally the most ignorant as to this affair; and here I can
but observe the difference between man in the wild state of nature, and the
same creature in the civil society. In the first, men and women, if left rude
and untaught in the sciences of modes and manners, would quickly find out
the cause of that disturbance, and be at a loss no more than other animals
for a present remedy: besides, that it is not probable they would want either
precept or example from the more experienced. But, in the second, where
the rules of religion, law, and decency, are to be followed, and obeyed,
before any dictates of nature, the youth of both sexes are to be armed and
fortified against this impulse, and from their infancy artfully frightened
from the most remote approaches of it. The appetite itself, and all the
symptoms of it, though they are plainly felt and understood, are to be stifled
with care and severity, and, in women, flatly disowned, and if there be
occasion, with obstinacy denied, even when themselves are affected by
them. If it throws them into distempers, they must be cured by physic, or
else patiently bear them in silence; and it is the interest of the society to
preserve decency and politeness; that women should linger, waste, and die,
rather than relieve themselves in an unlawful manner; and among the
fashionable part of mankind, the people of birth and fortune, it is expected
that matrimony should never be entered upon without a curious regard to
family, estate, and reputation, and, in the making of matches, the call of
nature be the very last consideration.

Those, then, who would make love and lust synonymous, confound the
effect with the cause of it: yet such is the force of education, and a habit of
thinking, as we are taught, that sometimes persons of either sex are actually
in love without feeling any carnal desires, or penetrating into the intentions
of nature, the end proposed by her, without which they could never have
been affected with that sort of passion. That there are such is certain, but
many more whose pretences to those refined notions are only upheld by art
and dissimulation. Those, who are really such Platonic lovers, are
commonly the pale-faced weakly people, of cold and phlegmatic
constitutions in either sex; the hale and robust, of bilious temperament, and
a sanguine complexion, never entertain any love so spiritual as to exclude
all thoughts and wishes that relate to the body; but if the most seraphic
lovers would know the original of their inclination, let them but suppose
that another should have the corporal enjoyment of the person beloved, and
by the tortures they will suffer from that reflection they will soon discover
the nature of their passions: whereas, on the contrary, parents and friends
receive a satisfaction in reflecting on the joys and comforts of a happy
marriage, to be tasted by those they wish well to.

The curious, that are skilled in anatomizing the invisible part of man, will
observe that the more sublime and exempt this love is from all thoughts of
sensuality, the more spurious it is, and the more it degenerates from its
honest original and primitive simplicity. The power and sagacity as well as
labour and care of the politician in civilizing the society, has been no where
more conspicuous, than in the happy contrivance of playing our passions
against one another. By flattering our pride, and still increasing the good
opinion we have of ourselves on the one hand, and inspiring us on the other
with a superlative dread and mortal aversion against shame, the artful
moralists have taught us cheerfully to encounter ourselves, and if not
subdue, at least, so to conceal and disguise our darling passion, lust, that we
scarce know it when we meet with it in our breasts: Oh! the mighty prize
we have in view for all our self-denial! can any man be so serious as to
abstain from laughter, when he considers, that for so much deceit and
insincerity practiced upon ourselves as well as others, we have no other
recompense than the vain satisfaction of making our species appear more
exalted and remote from that of other animals, than it really is; and we, in
our consciences, know it to be? yet this is fact, and in it we plainly perceive
the reason why it was necessary to render odious every word or action by
which we might discover the innate desire we feel to perpetuate our kind;
and why tamely to submit to the violence of a furious appetite (which is
painful to resist) and innocently to obey the most pressing demand of nature
without guile or hypocrisy, like other creatures, should be branded with the
ignominious name of brutality.

What we call love, then, is not a genuine, but an adulterated appetite, or


rather a compound, a heap of several contradictory passions blended in one.
As it is a product of nature warped by custom and education, so the true
origin and first motive of it, as I have hinted already, is stifled in well-bred
people, and concealed from themselves: all which is the reason, that, as
those affected with it, vary in age, strength, resolution, temper,
circumstances, and manners, the effects of it are so different, whimsical,
surprising, and unaccountable.
It is this passion that makes jealousy so troublesome, and the envy of it
often so fatal: those who imagine that there may be jealousy without love,
do not understand that passion. Men may not have the least affection for
their wives, and yet be angry with them for their conduct, and suspicious of
them either with or without a cause: but what in such cases affects them is
their pride, the concern for their reputation. They feel a hatred against them
without remorse; when they are outrageous, they can beat them and go to
sleep contentedly: such husbands may watch their dames themselves, and
have them observed by others; but their vigilance is not so intense; they are
not so inquisitive or industrious in their searches, neither do they feel that
anxiety of heart at the fear of a discovery, as when love is mixed with the
passions.

What confirms me in this opinion is, that we never observe this behaviour
between a man and his mistress; for when his love is gone and he suspects
her to be false, he leaves her, and troubles his head no more about her:
whereas, it is the greatest difficulty imaginable, even to a man of sense, to
part with his mistress as long as he loves her, whatever faults she may be
guilty of. If in his anger he strikes her, he is uneasy after it; his love makes
him reflect on the hurt he has done her, and he wants to be reconciled to her
again. He may talk of hating her, and many times from his heart wish her
hanged, but if he cannot get entirely rid of his frailty, he can never
disentangle himself from her: though she is represented in the most
monstrous guilt to his imagination, and he has resolved and swore a
thousand times never to come near her again, there is no trusting him, even
when he is fully convinced of her infidelity, if his love continues, his
despair is never so lasting, but between the blackest fits of it he relents, and
finds lucid intervals of hope; he forms excuses for her, thinks of pardoning,
and in order to it racks his invention for possibilities that may make her
appear less criminal.
Line 200. Real pleasures, comforts, ease.

That the highest good consisted in pleasure, was the doctrine of Epicurus,
who yet led a life exemplary for continence, sobriety, and other virtues,
which made people of the succeeding ages quarrel about the signification of
pleasure. Those who argued from the temperance of the philosopher, said,
That the delight Epicurus meant, was being virtuous; so Erasmus in his
Colloquies tells us, that there are no greater Epicures than pious Christians.
Others that reflected on the dissolute manners of the greatest part of his
followers, would have it, that by pleasures he could have understood
nothing but sensual ones, and the gratification of our passions. I shall not
decide their quarrel, but am of opinion, that whether men be good or bad,
what they take delight in is their pleasure; and not to look out for any
further etymology from the learned languages, I believe an Englishman may
justly call everything a pleasure that pleases him, and according to this
definition, we ought to dispute no more about men’s pleasures than their
tastes: Trahit sua quemque voluptas.

The worldly-minded, voluptuous, and ambitious man, notwithstanding he is


void of merit, covets precedence every where, and desires to be dignified
above his betters: he aims at spacious palaces, and delicious gardens; his
chief delight is in excelling others in stately horses, magnificent coaches, a
numerous attendance, and dear-bought furniture. To gratify his lust, he
wishes for genteel, young, beautiful women of different charms and
complexions, that shall adore his greatness, and be really in love with his
person: his cellars he would have stored with the flower of every country
that produces excellent wines: his tables he desires may be served with
many courses, and each of them contain a choice variety of dainties not
easily purchased, and ample evidences of elaborate and judicious cookery;
while harmonious music, and well-couched flattery, entertain his hearing by
turns. He employs even in the meanest trifles, none but the ablest and most
ingenious workmen, that his judgment and fancy may as evidently appear in
the least things that belong to him as his wealth and quality are manifested
in those of greater value. He desires to have several sets of witty, facetious,
and polite people to converse with, and among them he would have some
famous for learning and universal knowledge: for his serious affairs, he
wishes to find men of parts and experience, that should be diligent and
faithful. Those that are to wait on him he would have handy, mannerly, and
discreet, of comely aspect, and a graceful mien: what he requires in them
besides, is a respectful care of every thing that is his, nimbleness without
hurry, dispatch without noise, and an unlimited obedience to his orders:
nothing he thinks more troublesome than speaking to servants; wherefore
he will only be attended by such, as by observing his looks have learned to
interpret his will from the slightest motions. He loves to see an elegant
nicety in every thing that approaches him, and in what is to be employed
about his person, he desires a superlative cleanliness to be religiously
observed. The chief officers of his household he would have to be men of
birth, honour and distinction, as well as order, contrivance, and economy;
for though he loves to be honoured by every body, and receives the respects
of the common people with joy, yet the homage that is paid him by persons
of quality is ravishing to him in a more transcendent manner.

While thus wallowing in a sea of lust and vanity, he is wholly employed in


provoking and indulging his appetites, he desires the world should think
him altogether free from pride and sensuality, and put a favourable
construction upon his most glaring vices: nay, if his authority can purchase
it, he covets to be thought wise, brave, generous, good-natured, and endued
with the virtues he thinks worth having. He would have us believe that the
pomp and luxury he is served with are as many tiresome plagues to him;
and all the grandeur he appears in is an ungrateful burden, which, to his
sorrow, is inseparable from the high sphere he moves in; that his noble
mind, so much exalted above vulgar capacities, aims at higher ends, and
cannot relish such worthless enjoyments; that the highest of his ambition is
to promote the public welfare, and his greatest pleasure to see his country
flourish, and every body in it made happy. These are called real pleasures
by the vicious and earthly-minded, and whoever is able, either by his skill
or fortune, after this refined manner at once to enjoy the world, and the
good opinion of it, is counted extremely happy by all the most fashionable
part of the people.

But, on the other side, most of the ancient philosophers and grave moralists,
especially the Stoics, would not allow any thing to be a real good that was
liable to be taken from them by others. They wisely considered the
instability of fortune, and the favour of princes; the vanity of honour, and
popular applause; the precariousness of riches, and all earthly possessions;
and therefore placed true happiness in the calm serenity of a contented
mind, free from guilt and ambition; a mind that, having subdued every
sensual appetite, despises the smiles as well as frowns of fortune, and
taking no delight but in contemplation, desires nothing but what every body
is able to give to himself: a mind that, armed with fortitude and resolution,
has learned to sustain the greatest losses without concern, to endure pain
without affliction, and to bear injuries without resentment. Many have
owned themselves arrived to this height of self-denial, and then, if we may
believe them, they were raised above common mortals, and their strength
extended vastly beyond the pitch of their first nature: they could behold the
anger of threatening tyrants and the most imminent dangers without terror,
and preserved their tranquillity in the midst of torments: death itself they
could meet with intrepidity, and left the world with no greater reluctance
than they had showed fondness at their entrance into it.

These among the ancients have always bore the greatest sway; yet others
that were no fools neither, have exploded those precepts as impracticable,
called their notions romantic, and endeavoured to prove, that what these
Stoics asserted of themselves, exceeded all human force and possibility; and
that therefore the virtues they boasted of could be nothing but haughty
pretence, full of arrogance and hypocrisy; yet notwithstanding these
censures, the serious part of the world, and the generality of wise men that
have lived ever since to this day, agree with the Stoics in the most material
points; as that there can be no true felicity in what depends on things
perishable; that peace within is the greatest blessing, and no conquest like
that of our passions; that knowledge, temperance, fortitude, humility, and
other embellishments of the mind are the most valuable acquisitions; that no
man can be happy but he that is good: and that the virtuous are only capable
of enjoying real pleasures.

I expect to be asked, why in the fable I have called those pleasures real, that
are directly opposite to those which I own the wise men of all ages have
extolled as the most valuable? My answer is, because I do not call things
pleasures which men say are best, but such as they seem to be most pleased
with; how can I believe that a mans chief delight is in the embellishment of
the mind, when I see him ever employed about, and daily pursue the
pleasures that are contrary to them? John never cuts any pudding, but just
enough that you cannot say he took none: this little bit, after much
chomping and chewing, you see goes down with him like chopped hay;
after that he falls upon the beef with a voracious appetite, and crams
himself up to his throat. Is it not provoking, to hear John cry every day that
pudding is all his delight, and that he does not value the beef of a farthing.

I could swagger about fortitude and the contempt of riches as much as


Seneca himself, and would undertake to write twice as much in behalf of
poverty as ever he did; for the tenth part of his estate, I could teach the way
to his summum bonum as exactly as I know my way home: I could tell
people to extricate themselves from all worldly engagements, and to purify
the mind, they must divest themselves of their passions, as men take out the
furniture when they would clean a room thoroughly; and I am clearly of the
opinion, that the malice and most severe strokes of fortune, can do no more
injury to a mind thus stripped of all fears, wishes, and inclinations, than a
blind horse can do in an empty barn. In the theory of all this I am very
perfect, but the practice is very difficult; and if you went about picking my
pocket, offered to take the victuals from before me when I am hungry, or
made but the least motion of spitting in my face, I dare not promise how
philosophically I should behave myself. But that I am forced to submit to
every caprice of my unruly nature, you will say, is no argument, that others
are as little masters of theirs, and therefore, I am willing to pay adoration to
virtue wherever I can meet with it, with a proviso that I shall not be obliged
to admit any as such, where I can see no self-denial, or to judge of mens
sentiments from their words, where I have their lives before me.

I have searched through every degree and station of men, and confess, that I
have found no where more austerity of manners, or greater contempt of
earthly pleasures, than in some religious houses, where people freely
resigning and retiring from the world to combat themselves, have no other
business but subdue their appetites. What can be a greater evidence of
perfect chastity, and a superlative love, to immaculate purity in men and
women, than that in the prime of their age, when lust is most raging, they
should actually seclude themselves from each others company, and by a
voluntary renunciation debar themselves for life, not only from
uncleanness, but even the most lawful embraces? those that abstain from
flesh, and often all manner of food, one would think in the right way, to
conquer all carnal desires; and I could almost swear, that he does not
consult his ease, who daily mauls his bare back and shoulders with
unconscionable stripes, and constantly roused at night from his sleep, leaves
his bed for his devotion. Who can despise riches more, or show himself less
avaricious than he, who will not so much as touch gold or silver, no not
with his feet? Or can any mortal show himself less luxurious or more
humble than the man, that making poverty his choice, contents himself with
scraps and fragments, and refuses to eat any bread but what is bestowed
upon him by the charity of others.

Such fair instances of self-denial, would make me bow down to virtue, if I


was not deterred and warned from it by so many persons of eminence and
learning, who unanimously tell me that I am mistaken, and all I have seen is
farce and hypocrisy; that what seraphic love they may pretend to, there is
nothing but discord among them; and that how penitential the nuns and
friars may appear in their several convents, they none of them sacrifice their
darling lusts: that among the women, they are not all virgins that pass for
such, and that if I was to be let into their secrets, and examine some of their
subterraneous privacies, I should soon be convinced by scenes of horror,
that some of them must have been mothers. That among the men I should
find calumny, envy, and ill nature, in the highest degree, or else gluttony,
drunkenness, and impurities of a more execrable kind than adultery itself:
and as for the mendicant orders, that they fer in nothing but their habits
from other sturdy beggars, who deceive people with a pitiful tone, and an
outward show of misery, and as soon as they are out of sight, lay by their
cant, indulge their appetites, and enjoy one another.

If the strict rules, and so many outward signs of devotion observed among
those religious orders, deserve such harsh censures, we may well despair of
meeting with virtue any where else; for if we look into the actions of the
antagonists and greatest accusers of those votaries, we shall not find so
much as the appearance of self-denial. The reverend divines of all sects,
even of the most reformed churches in all countries, take care with the
Cyclops Evangeliphorus first; ut ventri bene sit, and afterwards, ne quid
desit iis quæ sub ventre sunt. To these they will desire you to add
convenient houses, handsome furniture, good fires in winter, pleasant
gardens in summer, neat clothes, and money enough to bring up their
children; precedency in all companies, respect from every body, and then as
much religion as you please. The things I have named are the necessary
comforts of life, which the most modest are not ashamed to claim, and
which they are very uneasy without. They are, it is true, made of the same
mould, and have the same corrupt nature with other men, born with the
same infirmities, subject to the same passions, and liable to the same
temptations, and therefore if they are diligent in their calling, and can but
abstain from murder, adultery, swearing, drunkenness, and other heinous
vices, their lives are all called unblemished, and their reputations unspotted;
their function renders them holy, and the gratification of so many carnal
appetites, and the enjoyment of so much luxurious ease notwithstanding,
they may set upon themselves what value their pride and parts will allow
them.

All this I have nothing against, but I see no self-denial, without which there
can be no virtue. Is it such a mortification not to desire a greater share of
worldly blessings, than what every reasonable man ought to be satisfied
with? Or, is there any mighty merit in not being flagitious, and forbearing
indecencies that are repugnant to good manners, and which no prudent man
would be guilty of, though he had no religion at all?

I know I shall be told, that the reason why the clergy are so violent in their
resentments, when at any time they are but in the least affronted, and show
themselves so void of all patience when their rights are invaded, is their
great care to preserve their calling, their profession from contempt, not for
their own sakes, but to be more serviceable to others. It is the same reason
that makes them solicitous about the comforts and conveniences of life; for
should they suffer themselves to be insulted over, be content with a coarser
diet, and wear more ordinary clothes than other people, the multitude, who
judge from outward appearances, would be apt to think that the clergy was
no more the immediate care of Providence than other folks, and so not only
undervalue their persons, but despise likewise all the reproofs and
instructions that came from them. This is an admirable plea, and as it is
much made use of, I will try the worth of it.

I am not of the learned Dr. Echard’s opinion, that poverty is one of those
things that bring the clergy into contempt, any further than as it may be an
occasion of discovering their blind side: for when men are always
struggling with their low condition, and are unable to bear the burden of it
without reluctancy, it is then they show how uneasy their poverty sits upon
them, how glad they would be to have their circumstances meliorated, and
what a real value they have for the good things of this world. He that
harangues on the contempt of riches, and the vanity of earthly enjoyments,
in a rusty threadbare gown, because he has no other, and would wear his old
greasy hat no longer if any body would give him a better; that drinks small
beer at home with a heavy countenance, but leaps at a glass of wine if he
can catch it abroad; that with little appetite feeds upon his own coarse mess,
but falls to greedily where he can please his palate, and expresses an
uncommon joy at an invitation to a splendid dinner: it is he that is despised,
not because he is poor, but because he knows not how to be so, with that
content and resignation which he preaches to others, and so discovers his
inclinations to be contrary to his doctrine. But, when a man from the
greatness of his soul (or an obstinate vanity, which will do as well)
resolving to subdue his appetites in good earnest, refuses all the offers of
ease and luxury that can be made to him, and embracing a voluntary
poverty with cheerfulness, rejects whatever may gratify the senses, and
actually sacrifices all his passions to his pride, in acting this part, the vulgar,
far from contemning, will be ready to deify and adore him. How famous
have the Cynic philosophers made themselves, only by refusing to
dissimulate and make use of superfluities? Did not the most ambitious
monarch the world ever bore, condescend to visit Diogenes in his tub, and
return to a studied incivility, the highest compliment a man of his pride was
able to make?

Mankind are very willing to take one another’s word, when they see some
circumstances that corroborate what is told them; but when our actions
directly contradict what we say, it is counted impudence to desire belief. If a
jolly hale fellow, with glowing cheeks and warm hands, newly returned
from some smart exercise, or else the cold bath, tells us in frosty weather,
that he cares not for the fire, we are easily induced to believe him,
especially if he actually turns from it, and we know by his circumstances,
that he wants neither fuel nor clothes: but if we should hear the same from
the mouth of a poor starved wretch, with swelled hands, and a livid
countenance, in a thin ragged garment, we should not believe a word of
what he said, especially if we saw him shaking and shivering, creep toward
the sunny bank; and we would conclude, let him say what he could, that
warm clothes, and a good fire, would be very acceptable to him. The
application is easy, and therefore if there be any clergy upon earth that
would be thought not to care for the world, and to value the soul above the
body, let them only forbear showing a greater concern for their sensual
pleasures than they generally do for their spiritual ones, and they may rest
satisfied, that no poverty, while they bear it with fortitude, will ever bring
them into contempt, how mean soever their circumstances may be.

Let us suppose a pastor that has a little flock intrusted to him, of which he is
very careful: He preaches, visits, exhorts, reproves among his people with
zeal and prudence, and does them all the kind offices that lie in his power to
make them happy. There is no doubt but those under his care must be very
much obliged to him. Now, we shall suppose once more, that this good
man, by the help of a little self-denial, is contented to live upon half his
income, accepting only of twenty pounds a-year instead of forty, which he
could claim; and moreover, that he loves his parishioners so well, that he
will never leave them for any preferment whatever, no not a bishoprick,
though it be offered. I cannot see but all this might be an easy task to a man
who professes mortification, and has no value for worldly pleasures; yet
such a disinterested divine, I dare promise, notwithstanding the degeneracy
of mankind, will be loved, esteemed, and have every body’s good word;
nay, I would swear, that though he should yet further exert himself, give
above half of his small revenue to the poor, live upon nothing but oatmeal
and water, lie upon straw, and wear the coarsest cloth that could be made,
his mean way of living would never be reflected on, or be a disparagement
either to himself or the order he belonged to; but that on the contrary his
poverty would never be mentioned but to his glory, as long as his memory
should last.

But (says a charitable young gentlewoman) though you have the heart to
starve your parson, have you no bowels of compassion for his wife and
children? pray what must remain of forty pounds a year, after it has been
twice so unmercifully split? or would you have the poor woman and the
innocent babes likewise live upon oatmeal and water, and lie upon straw,
you unconscionable wretch, with all your suppositions and self-denials; nay,
is it possible, though they should all live at your own murdering rate, that
less than ten pounds a-year could maintain a family?——Do not be in a
passion, good Mrs. Abigail, I have a greater regard for your sex than to
prescribe such a lean diet to married men; but I confess I forgot the wives
and children: The main reason was, because I thought poor priests could
have no occasion for them. Who could imagine, that the parson who is to
teach others by example as well as precept, was not able to withstand those
desires which the wicked world itself calls unreasonable? What is the
reason when an apprentice marries before he is out of his time, that unless
he meets with a good fortune, all his relations are angry with him, and every
body blames him? Nothing else, but because at that time he has no money
at his disposal, and being bound to his master’s service, has no leisure, and
perhaps little capacity to provide for a family. What must we say to a parson
that has twenty, or, if you will, forty pounds a-year, that being bound more
strictly to all the services a parish and his duty require, has little time, and
generally much less ability to get any more? Is it not very reasonable he
should marry? But why should a sober young man, who is guilty of no vice,
be debarred from lawful enjoyments? Right; marriage is lawful, and so is a
coach; but what is that to people that have not money enough to keep one?
If he must have a wife, let him look out for money, or wait for a greater
benefice, or something else to maintain her handsomely, and bear all
incident charges. But nobody that has any thing herself will have him, and
he cannot stay: He has a very good stomach, and all the symptoms of
health; it is not every body that can live without a woman; it is better to
marry than burn.——What a world of self-denial is here? The sober young
man is very willing to be virtuous, but you must not cross his inclinations;
he promises never to be a deer-stealer, upon condition that he shall have
venison of his own, and no body must doubt, but that if it come to the push,
he is qualified to suffer martyrdom, though he owns that he has not strength
enough, patiently to bear a scratched finger.

When we see so many of the clergy, to indulge their lust, a brutish appetite,
run themselves after this manner upon an inevitable poverty, which, unless
they could bear it with greater fortitude, than they discover in all their
actions, must of necessity make them contemptible to all the world, what
credit must we give them, when they pretend that they conform themselves
to the world, not because they take delight in the several decencies,
conveniences, and ornaments of it, but only to preserve their function from
contempt, in order to be more useful to others? Have we not reason to
believe, that what they say is full of hypocrisy and falsehood, and that
concupiscence is not the only appetite they want to gratify; that the haughty
airs and quick sense of injuries, the curious elegance in dress, and niceness
of palate, to be observed in most of them that are able to show them, are the
results of pride and luxury in them, as they are in other people, and that the
clergy are not possessed of more intrinsic virtue than any other profession?

I am afraid, by this time I have given many of my readers a real displeasure,


by dwelling so long upon the reality of pleasure; but I cannot help it, there
is one thing comes into my head to corroborate what I have urged already,
which I cannot forbear mentioning: It is this: Those who govern others
throughout the world, are at least as wise as the people that are governed by
them, generally speaking: If, for this reason, we would take pattern from
our superiors, we have but to cast our eyes on all the courts and
governments in the universe, and we shall soon perceive from the actions of
the great ones, which opinion they side with, and what pleasures those in
the highest stations of all seem to be most fond of: For, if it be allowable at
all to judge of people’s inclinations, from their manner of living, none can
be less injured by it, than those who are the most at liberty to do as they
please.

If the great ones of the clergy, as well as the laity of any country whatever,
had no value for earthly pleasures, and did not endeavour to gratify their
appetites, why are envy and revenge so raging among them, and all the
other passions improved and refined upon in courts of princes more than
any where else, and why are their repasts, their recreations, and whole
manner of living always such as are approved of, coveted, and imitated by
the most sensual people of that same country? If despising all visible
decorations they were only in love with the embellishments of the mind,
why should they borrow so many of the implements, and make use of the
most darling toys of the luxurious? Why should a lord treasurer, or a bishop,
or even the grand signior, or the pope of Rome, to be good and virtuous,
and endeavour the conquest of his passions, have occasion for greater
revenues, richer furniture, or a more numerous attention, as to personal
service, than a private man? What virtue is it the exercise of which requires
so much pomp and superfluity, as are to be seen by all men in power? A
man has as much opportunity to practise temperance, that has but one dish
at a meal, as he that is constantly served with three courses, and a dozen
dishes in each: One may exercise as much patience, and be as full of self-
denial on a few flocks, without curtains or tester, as in a velvet bed that is
sixteen foot high. The virtuous possessions of the mind are neither charge
nor burden: A man may bear misfortunes with fortitude in a garret, forgive
injuries a-foot, and be chaste, though he has not a shirt to his back: and
therefore I shall never believe, but that an indifferent sculler, if he was
intrusted with it, might carry all the learning and religion that one man can
contain, as well as a barge with six oars, especially if it was but to cross
from Lambeth to Westminster; or that humility is so ponderous a virtue, that
it requires six horses to draw it.
To say that men not being so easily governed by their equals as by their
superiors, it is necessary, that to keep the multitude in awe, those who rule
over us should excel others in outward appearance, and consequently, that
all in high stations should have badges of honour, and ensigns of power to
be distinguished from the vulgar, is a frivolous objection. This, in the first
place, can only be of use to poor princes, and weak and precarious
governments, that being actually unable to maintain the public peace, are
obliged with a pageant show to make up what they want in real power: so
the governor of Batavia, in the East Indies, is forced to keep up a grandeur,
and live in a magnificence above his quality, to strike a terror in the natives
of Java, who, if they had skill and conduct, are strong enough to destroy ten
times the number of their masters; but great princes and states that keep
large fleets at sea, and numerous armies in the field, have no occasion for
such stratagems; for what makes them formidable abroad, will never fail to
be their security at home. Secondly, what must protect the lives and wealth
of people from the attempts of wicked men in all societies, is the severity of
the laws, and diligent administration of impartial justice. Theft, house-
breaking, and murder, are not to be prevented by the scarlet gowns of the
aldermen, the gold chains of the sheriffs, the fine trappings of their horses,
or any gaudy show whatever: Those pageant ornaments are beneficial
another way; they are eloquent lectures to apprentices, and the use of them
is to animate, not to deter: but men of abandoned principles must be awed
by rugged officers, strong prisons, watchful jailors, the hangman, and the
gallows. If London was to be one week destitute of constables and
watchmen to guard the houses a-nights, half the bankers would be ruined in
that time, and if my lord mayor had nothing to defend himself but his great
two handed sword, the huge cap of maintenance, and his gilded mace, he
would soon be stripped, in the very streets to the city, of all his finery in his
stately coach.

But let us grant that the eyes of the mobility are to be dazzled with a gaudy
outside; if virtue was the chief delight of great men, why should their
extravagance be extended to things not understood by the mob, and wholly
removed from public view, I mean their private diversions, the pomp and
luxury of the dining-room and the bed-chamber, and the curiosities of the
closet? few of the vulgar know that there is wine of a guinea the bottle, that
birds, no bigger than larks, are often sold for half-a-guinea a-piece, or that a
single picture may be worth several thousand pounds: besides, is it to be
imagined, that unless it was to please their own appetites, men should put
themselves to such vast expences for a political show, and be so solicitous
to gain the esteem of those whom they so much despise in every thing else?
if we allow that the splendor and all the elegancy of a court insipid, and
only tiresome to the prince himself, and are altogether made use of to
preserve royal majesty from contempt, can we say the same of half a dozen
illegitimate children, most of them the offspring of adultery, by the same
majesty, got, educated, and made princes at the expence of the nation!
therefore, it is evident, that this awing of the multitude, by a distinguished
manner of living, is only a cloak and pretence, under which, great men
would shelter their vanity, and indulge every appetite about them without
reproach.

A burgomaster of Amsterdam, in his plain black suit, followed perhaps by


one footman, is fully as much respected, and better obeyed, than a lord
mayor of London, with all his splendid equipage, and great train of
attendance. Where there is a real power, it is ridiculous to think that any
temperance or austerity of life should ever render the person, in whom that
power is lodged, contemptible in his office, from an emperor to the beadle
of a parish. Cato, in his government of Spain, in which he acquitted himself
with so much glory, had only three servants to attend him; do we hear that
any of his orders were ever slighted for this, notwithstanding that he loved
his bottle? and when that great man marched on foot through the scorching
sands of Libya, and parched up with thirst, refused to touch the water that
was brought him, before all his soldiers had drank, do we ever read that this
heroic forbearance weakened his authority, or lessened him in the esteem of
his army? but what need we go so far off? there has not, for these many
ages, been a prince less inclined to pomp and luxury than the1 present king
of Sweden, who, enamoured with the title of hero, has not only sacrificed
the lives of his subjects, and welfare of his dominions, but (what is more
uncommon in sovereigns) his own ease, and all the comforts of life, to an
implacable spirit of revenge; yet he is obeyed to the ruin of his people, in
obstinately maintaining a war that has almost utterly destroyed his
kingdom.
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